My Own Happy Ending

We just finished the last Lord of the Rings movie. The ending left me with so much emotion I'm not sure how to respond. When Sam and Frodo are on the mountain thinking of memories Sam remembers this girl. He says if he could ever go back he'd marry her. In the end he does and they have two children.

How often in literauture do guys say 'I'm going to marry her' and then they do? Very frequent. They don't sit and have long out conversations about how it's too soon or that they might be the wrong girl.

The thought struck me. I didn't expect it, not tonight of all nights. It hit me none the less. I'm not sure it's possible for me to push the thought away even if I wanted too.

What if I could be like that too?

What if I could fall in love and get married, just like that?

What if instead of pushing ages and numbers in between college and job timelines I could just wait for it too happen?

What if I let myself go and fall in love?

What if I found someone and loved them with my whole self and never ever wanted to leave them and actually meant it from the bottom of my soul?

These thoughts are frightening me. Logic and numbers have beeen taught to me but what if I forgot about them? What if I just let nature takes it's course and have my own happy ending?

College will work itself out. I don't even know if working is truely in my future. I can always adapt and change plans.

What if I truely allowed myself to dream?

What if I found him, married and had babies?

I'm allowed all this in one year, by the law. Everything I'm taught says young marriages will fail. But what if it doesn't? What if it could be happily ever after ending that doesn't end?

It's exciting to think. My pulse speeds up thinking about it. I
I think I might want too. I should sleep on my feeling though. They tend to change with the morning.


I will sleep then. I'll write more tomorrow. A decision will have to be made later. Goodnight all. I love you.