Sick

Being sick sucks.

That hasn't stopped me from ballet and mall with Lauren and Paul. She was the one who got sick tonight though. Paul had to carry her out to the car. I'm so worried out her. They showed me the wedding rings they'd picked out. It's so wrong...they're so young. It doesn't look right. Not at all.

My ballet teacher complimented me on my flexibility today. She said it was really improving. That made me feel awesome!

On Monday I ate a ton of food. It was my birthday so I thought I'd celebrate by eating pizza. Since pizza makes me sick, if I'm gonna eat it I might as well go full out. Now mind you I only ate six pieces...it could have been worse. Since then I haven't been able to eat a full meal, until today.

Now I'm stuffing my face again. I keep trying to tell myself it's okay. It's okay if I gain a few pounds. I'm not fat, I'm beautiful and need to stop worrying about my weight. I'm not sure if it's working though.

I feel positivetly miserble. The lovers were torturing me today. Lauren keeps telling me to forget him and move on. I shouldnt' have to work for a guy, or so she says.

I'm in this for the long run. As long as there is hope. If there is the smallest chance I'll wait. I can be patient. It is hard though but I'm not giving up.

If he asks me to leave, to get out of his life I will. But until he does I'm hanging around.