RoseinGarden

Saturday, January 31, 2009

57 Pages

I spent awhile working on my story tonight. I've added 14 more pages (doubled spaced) and about 4000 words since I last updated, putting me at 57 pages and 15,500 words.



I went back and did some editing of the first chapter. The changes were small but I think it presents itself much nicer now and added some nice little extras. It still needs more work though, and chapter two and three still need a lot of work.



Ashley's been reading and sending me feedback but so far she hasn't read most of it. She's really good at editing and catching all my grammar mistakes. She read the initial short story and the first version of chapter one but that's it. I want to finish Chapters 1-3 and send it to her to see what she thinks, though so far I haven't really been writing in order. I just write whatever I feel like. Since I know completely where it's going I have the freedom to just write whatever, beginning, middle, end and then fill in the blank spots later. I like that so much better than trying to write start to finish, which is probably why I never finished most of my stories.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Concert Tonight

Abeline and The Shock concert tonight at the YAC. I'm super excited.




oooowwwww my arms are sore.


emILY

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Really Happy. How Oodd

I'm very excited that Graciee will be in LA sometime this weekend and I get to see her!

I have been really happy all week. That's pretty rare. I'm not really happy person but I'm trying to become more so, so this is very exciting!

Except for the waking up part, school isn't so bad now that I got rid of 2 of my 3 stressor classes. Though apparently my French teacher is trying to get me back. He confronted my counsler today at lunch, asking why I wasn't in his class anymore. Creepy? I think so.

I'm sorry hun, but I don't miss your class! Body building is a million times more fun. =)

Hope I can keep up the happiness. It's not a fake, I promise.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mashed Potatoes

I was sitting in her kitchen, trying not to drool over the stew cooking on the stove. She had already told me when couldn't eat until her mom got home, and after flipping through a Home magazine packed full of tasty looking reciepies that my mom would never make, I was about to fall on the floor in starvation.

She was complaining because there were no potatoes. To say she loved potatoes was an understatement; unless they were present at this meal, she would not be satisified. So while I worked on some math homework she skinned and sliced up a few potatoes, throwing them in a pot of water on the stove next to the stew.

Then she forgot about them and we found ourselves trying to decide what to do with the slightly overdone potatoes. She placed half of them in a bowl and started to mash them with a spoon, saying we could have mashed potatoes. Me, in my infinite wisdom was positive that you had to put milk in mashed potatoes, though I didn't know how to actually make them. So we poured some milk into a cup, sliced off a cunk of butter and stuck it in the mircrowave. When it was done we poured that in and dumped in an ungodly amount of garlic salt.

I found the second pot of potatoes and started to mash them.

"No don't mash those!"

I mashed her diced potatoes.

And we laughed so hard we cried and for so long we forgot how to breathe.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Actually Went To Dance

I actually went to ballet for the first time in...forever. I skipped three classes in the last two weeks, though my parents don't know that. But it doesn't matter since I'm going to make them up. And I was really only skipping because I was physically and emotionally exhusted.

We were working on our Cinderella dance. It was a whirlwind trying to learn what I'd missed but it was fun. I think our dance is going to look good. Definetly a lot of fun but I wish it was more. Oh well. It's a great learning experience and I'm sure by next year I'll be ready for more.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Second Half of Senior Year Schedule

Finals are over and now we start my last semester of high school! It's completely crazy to think I am graduating in June! I'm not sure if I really believe it yet. The new schedule makes me happy. I did not like half of my classes so it's really nice for a change.


Schedule

AP Composition
Virtual Enterprise
Body Building
Geometry 2
Sociology
Computer Ed



I got everything I wanted! Sucks that I still have geometry though. Ugh. Imma aim for an A this time.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Clackamas Girl Died

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2009/01/portland_police_shooter_appare.html

A sophomore named Ashley Wilks was shot last night outside of an underage club in Portland.

I feel like so many people died this year at Clackamas. It's funny I remember being freshman and how small we were. And now we are all older. Some of us died, some of us moved, some of us got pregnant. You didn't think it would happen but it did.

I didn't know her but I am just as shocked as everyone else.

Rest in peace Ashley.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Cute Is What We Aim For

Do you drink water?

Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense

If you walked by me everyday, would you remember my face?

I've become
What a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done a few things I regret
But practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense to me

If I never said your name again would you be sad?

Wake up at first light
Hearing you calling out
For your criminal court that fled the scene
Upon being ripped free
Conversation ensued
And I wanna do so many things to do
Sip after sip, you insist you're ahead
Sip after sip, yeah
I swear I can feel it

Do you really believe me?

Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense

Friday, January 23, 2009

Blueberry Muffins And Rain Are Happiness

There is nothing like eating a blue berry muffin to make me happy.

And it's been raining. That makes me feel warm inside even though its cold outside.

1st semester is offically over.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Can Brainwash You?

Grey's Anatomy was sad tonight.



I could now brainwash someone if I ever needed too. Er...at least I know how too.



Math final was easy but I messed it up a little on my French oral. Grr. Only Psych and Economics left. Then I can go back to having a normal life.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Two Finals Down

Two finals down, four to go.

My English teacher was too lazy to give us a test for a final, so we put together a presentation in the first hour and then watched groups present for the second. I thought I was going to die of boredom.

I jogged the mile and a half with L. It was the first time she actually ran this year so I was really impressed with her. We finished in eighteen minutes and something. I was really freaking out about my PE final because we had to do a layup but I did it. I didn't make the right layup but I made the left one on my first shot.

Coming home at 12:30 today was nice. I found time to type up more of my story. I'm up to 43 pages...and 11,600 words so I still have a long way to go but it's coming. I hope it ends up being somewhat decent.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Obama Day

The next person who so much as whispers the word historic, I promise to throw up on. And the winner of over used word of the day is...

Yes Obama is the first blackish president of the United States and you are excited. Well I'm glad but do try to show some diginity.
As I was driving to school early this morning, a listener called in on the radio and started crying. Crying? yes, crying with real tears.

For the sake of America, I sincerely hope this young, unproven politician becomes the president everyone is dreaming he'll be.

Sorry if I sound cynical. I might have still liked Obama if all of Claremont people weren't socialist wanna-bes. If I could listen to something other than liberals who talk talk talk, then maybe I'd still support him.

By the way, I used to be a Democrat. I was 100% behind Hillary Clinton and then after she dropped out, Obama. I even went so far as to put an Obama sticker on the back of my car. It wasn't until the election neared that I began shifting my opinions. In fact, the moment I heard of Obama's victory was when I finally realized I didn't want him. It wasn't him that changed my mind though.

At school in Economics I learned about how economies worked. Thankfully, I had the kind of teacher who teaches you to look at things from both angles and to spot bias. I learned that I didn't believe in economic equity afterall, nor did I want to pay an increase in taxes to expand welfare programs. By studying supply and demand I realized how good of a job the economy does regulating itself under normal circumstances. There are some serious drawbacks to things like minimual wage or rent control. I don't even want to think about what horrors might be committed against health care. Forget autobailout plans, let the economy take care of itself the way it's intended without excess government interference. That is my opinion after a semester of basic econ and I'd be happy to debate it with anyone.

The second factor was I'm a moderate person. I always see things from both side of the issue and usually end up with conflicting views. For example, I consider abortion to be murder but I respect a woman's right to choose. When I am surrounded by too much of one perspective, I automatically rebel to clear my mind. Somewhere in my days of Claremont I rejected the Democratic swarm though I'm not sure if it was watching seventy and eighty year old seniors protesting the war and Bush on my street or if it was watching how No on 8 people tore opposing signs off of lawns and harrassed anyone who opposed Yes on 8 that did it.

I hate to be black and white though, about anything. The first high school essay I wrote showed this. We were supposed to respond to the enviroment vs. progress film/cartoon called the Lorax by picking a side and defending it. I can remember staring dumbfounded at the instructions, knowing I was neither role. Instead I wrote this:

What is progress? Progress is moving in a certain direction that will lead to future opportunities that will benefit something or someone. Is progress really progress or are we just claiming it to be because we like the outcome? This is a question that has been debated for centuries. We have the oldfangled ideas supported by one group of people to our left. On the right we have a group of younger people with fresh ideas of how things should be. Finally in the center are the middle people who neither oppose nor support progress because they simply haven’t figured which group is right. Personally I think I am more of a middle person.

So I wrote that I was a middle person instead. It wasn't a good paper and earned me a C minus along with a note telling me to stick with existing characters but I proved a point:

I am always going to be in the middle and disagree to an extent with everyone.

Good luck Obama.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Yay Three Day Weekend

I wish three day weekend lasted forever.

Can I tell you a secret? I didn't study once. Wanna know something else? I don't care.


After the week I had of slaving over my books and working my hand to death writing, I was flat out done. Taking a break was not an option, it was necessary. I needed to rest and prepare for this upcoming week. Finals, here I come.


Friday night was low key. K dropped by after work and we watched Crash. Good movie. Around one in the morning we started playing with the friendship monkey and Edward the groundhog like we were little girls. Cherry gave me the friendship monkey before I left. It's pretty ugly but he forced me to take it saying it had been handed down in his family.
Honestly, I didn't believe him and K and I agreed it had probably come from the dollar store. Well, Saturday morning I texted him to find out and he got really angry at me. He said he had had a bad week and didn't want to take any crap from me and hated being called a liar.
Temper temper.


K headed home and I convinced my parents to take the family to eat lunch at Panda Express. Afterwards they took us to a park in Upland to get some sunshine. I set a new record for time swinging. That evening we colored my hair again, tackling those deep roots. Now my hair has purple, red, and burgendy tones and is dark. I really love it.


K joined us for church on Sunday and we finally got around to washing our filthy cars afterwards. My car was almost so dirty that it didn't look green anymore. She grabbed a handful of DVDs when we stopped at her house. Back at mine, we watched The Brothers Grimm. After drinking a Rockstar (my mom wasn't around to see me) I was feeling an energy buzz. Me, Joe, Will and her told my Dad we were going to village to get out of the house and went and climbed El Roble's roof. We didn't have to be back till ten so we raced down to the park next to the church and freaked out this couple who was making out and who knows what else on the bench in the dark. Then we went home, played couple games of cards and watched Man In The Iron Mask.


Today the family went to the beach and K brought her brother along. Sadly, she had to leave early because she had to work so it ended up just being my family and her brother.


I was amazed at how warm the beach was, even for California! The water was cold but the air was warm, like summer warm. It's foreign going to the beach without hoodies and not braving the rain but it's definetly a good time, especially playing in the water. Once we were out waist deep and a wave crashed over my head and held me down. Salt water tastes nasty but I had some much fun in the water!



Wasn't I with CR today last year? Oh well today was definetly more fun. I don't miss him at all. He has a girlfriend now and looks really happy and I couldn't be happier for him! Now Gravity...he's another story.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Finally Unpacked

I know I haven't really written anything this week, but I've been so busy with school. Now that Invisible Man, reading and test, is finished, along with my chapter math test and pre econ final, I can focus on studying for my actual finals next week. Tuesday is the last day to review, and then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday are finals. Thankfully, they are only half days but sadly there is no late start on Wednesday.

I mostly unpacked my room right after moving so I could settle but I left one box still sitting on my floor. It was full of school folders and the such. Since after the end of junior year I didn't go through papers I had to do that tonight. I was afraid the cardboard might bring bugs. Ew.

I found my Graphics folder from last year and looked at my work. Wow, it really was good! I seriously thought it was all crap, but it's not. Wow. I mean it's not professional but for my level it was good. Maybe if I spent less time comparing myself to the other students and more time focusing on my own work it would have been even better.

I know this is going to sound weird, but I miss last year. Going through all the papers brought back a lot of memories.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

It's Only Just Begun

My feet hurt. I am so tired. I survived two tests today and have one more tomorrow before the real studying begins.


Aiii. Finals.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thank You Miss English Teacher

Thank you Miss English Teacher. I just finished page 581 of the novel that made Ralph Ellison famous.

You do know who that is right? Well, if he is anything like the protagonist, you couldn't possibly because he is invisble.

Dear Miss English Teacher, I've learned so many new things reading this fine, historical novel. Such as, there is a very easy way to make people feel they are obligated to feel sorry for you: be black. Character? That means nothing. Race is everything afterall. The white man, what horror, who persecutes invisible man, who choses not to see him. This poor poor man, the victim of a power hungry professor who betrays him to save his own butt and refers to him using the N word the most time in the novel....oh wait he was black. Nevermind. Racial loyalty didn't go as far after the end of slavery.

Of course the white man can't all be bad. The wonderful communist organization called Brotherhood took him off the streets and gave the man with a lost identity a new identity. Oh wait, they were just using him. He rejects Ras the Destroyer, the nationalist, who preached on the streets of black men coming together and forgetting everything white. So he ended up make enemies of the black and white communities.

Not to forget the white women. Brother Jack's mistress doesn't think the Invisible Man, the organization's token black person, is black enough. The woman from Women's Quater takes him home and seduces him, saying his voice is primitive. And Sybil, tells him of her fantasy to be raped by a black man. Oh how delightful!

But these are not the only lessons you've taught us.
  • If you are young and in love, you are a fool.
  • People die before they realize they wasted their life.
  • Marriage does not bring happiness.
  • The doctors have diagnosed a alarming growing trend termed the 'housewives condition.' A large number of young women are not going to college and jumping straight into the role of wife and mother. And they are perfectly miserable.


Yes thank you Miss English Teacher. I'll make sure to take these lessons to heart as I live my life. I appreciate your choice in literature and complete neglect to writing assingnments. After all the course is called AP Composition instead of AP Literature. But thank you, thank you.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Fairytales Don't Even Have Happy Endings

I didn't write this but I think it's really interesting.

These​ are the origi​nal fairy​ tales​ that Disne​y has used,​ well,​ some Disne​y,​ some commo​n knowl​edge.​ As you might​ have guess​ed they are a bit darke​r that the typic​al paren​t would​ prefe​r.​ But that is why I love histo​ry.​ Enjoy​.​

Pied Piper​ - You know the story​ as a villa​ge overr​un with rats hires​ a wande​ring vagra​nt dress​ed in color​ful cloth​es who plays​ a pipe and gets the rats to leave​.​ The part you don'​t know is that when the man retur​ned and deman​ded payme​nt the villa​ge didn'​t cough​ up, so he playe​d his pipe and took all of the child​ren to a river​ where​ they all drown​ed,​ excep​t one boy who was lame.​

Littl​e Red Ridin​g Hood - The origi​nal story​,​ girl goes to grann​ys,​ wolf prete​nds to be grann​y,​ Red outsm​arts wolf,​ woods​man saves​ Red. In the origi​nal Red asks for direc​tions​ from a wolf and is then eaten​.​ The End. Serio​usly,​ that is the origi​nal versi​on by Charl​es Perra​ult.​ Oh, and in two REALL​Y old versi​ons Red eithe​r gets to watch​ as Grand​ma is disse​cted and then force​d to eat her, or she perfo​rms a strip​tease​ to "​distr​act"​ the wolf.​ Yeah,​ not makin​g this up, I swear​.​

Littl​e Merma​id - The Disne​y remak​e has the princ​ess becom​ing human​ and marry​ing the Princ​e,​ and livin​g happi​ly ever after​.​ In the origi​nal she sees the Princ​e marry​ anoth​er princ​ess and is offer​ed a knife​ with which​ to stab the Princ​e to death​.​ Howev​er inste​ad of killi​ng the Princ​e she leaps​ into the water​ and dies by turni​ng into froth​.​ Ariel​ dies.​ No seque​ls.​.​.​ There​ are other​ versi​ons that invol​ve the king wanti​ng to sleep​ with her, but nobod​y truly​ knows​ the real origi​nal.​

Sleep​ing Beaut​y - This one is fucki​ng nuts.​ Ok, so in the remak​e the girl prick​s her finge​r and falls​ aslee​p to wake to her True Loves​ kiss.​ They live happi​ly ever after​,​ blah blah blah.​ In the origi​nal an alleg​ed curse​ is put upon her, makin​g her fall aslee​p.​ So then the king sees her, and then proce​eds to rape her while​ she is aslee​p.​ Nine month​s later​ she gives​ birth​ to twins​,​ still​ aslee​p.​ When they are born one of then sucks​ on her finge​r and remov​es a piece​ of flax,​ which​ as it turns​ out, was keepi​ng her aslee​p.​ She awake​s to find herse​lf a mothe​r of two and a rape victi​m.​ The End, serio​usly I am not makin​g this up.

Rumpe​lstil​tskin​ - So this one is inter​estin​g.​ The origi​nal (​oldes​t consi​stent​)​ autho​r wrote​ two endin​gs.​ The first​ was the more toned​ down one. The secon​d versi​on that the autho​r wrote​ had Stilt​sy runni​ng away after​ the princ​ess guess​es his name,​ excep​t inste​ad of endin​g it there​,​ he drive​s his right​ foot into the groun​d,​ grabs​ his left,​ and proce​eds to TEAR HIMSE​LF IN HALF.​ It shoul​d be noted​ (and also quite​ obvio​us)​ that moder​n retel​lings​ don'​t inclu​de this.​ Also,​ the child​ that the lady is prote​cting​ dies anywa​y and in a numbe​r of reall​y reall​y old texts​ Stilt​sy gets so mad that he throw​s himse​lf at the lady and gets stuck​.​.​.​ down there​.​ Yeah,​ a bunch​ of soldi​ers have to come pull him out. Ugh.​.​.​

Goldi​locks​ and the Three​ Bears​ - For all you bear lover​s out there​,​ and lover​s of poeti​c justi​ce,​ this one is for you. In moder​n retel​lings​ Goldy​ finds​ the bears​ house​,​ eats their​ food,​ sits in their​ chair​s,​ and sleep​s in the littl​e bears​ bed. Then she escap​ed out of a windo​w,​ that food steal​ing tramp​.​ There​ are two possi​ble origi​nal versi​on.​ The first​,​ and my perso​nal favor​ite,​ had Goldy​ wakin​g up to the bears​ aroun​d her, and then havin​g them tear her apart​ and eatin​g her. The secon​d one had Goldy​ as an old hag who jumps​ out the windo​w and then eithe​r break​s her neck or gets sent to jail.​ Eithe​r way, there​ is a moral​ there​.​

Hanse​l and Grete​l - In the moder​n retel​ling two lost child​ren find thems​elves​ at a ginge​rbrea​d house​,​ are met by a witch​,​ and are captu​red until​ she can figur​e out how to eat them.​ They escap​e and throw​ the witch​ into a fire.​ In the origi​nal they are met by a devil​,​ not a witch​.​ When the devil​ reali​zes that the child​ren are tryin​g to trick​ him he get a sawho​rse to put the child​ren on so that he can bleed​ them.​ Yeah,​ thats​ right​,​ bleed​ them.​ The kids look like they don'​t know what a sawho​rse is and when the devil​ shows​ the kids what to do they reach​ out and slit his throa​t with a knife​.​ Lets see Disne​y do that one.(For the love of God pleas​e don'​t)

​Cinde​rella​ - Ok, so you all know the story​ so I am just going​ to give you diffe​rence​s.​ Most notab​ly,​ when the steps​ister​s are tryin​g on the slipp​er (not glass​)​ they actua​lly cut off parts​ of their​ feet to get them to fit. The Princ​e is alert​ed to this by two pigeo​ns who peck out the siste​rs eyes.​ The siste​rs then spend​ the rest of their​ lives​ as blind​ begga​rs.​ Oh, and the slipp​er was also proba​bly a vagin​a that the princ​e had to try on for size.​ Yeah.​ Most of the texts​ preda​ting the Grimm​ versi​on have the slipp​er be fur. Fur slipp​er.​ Shake​spear​e used more craft​y metap​hors.​ So when you put that in conte​xt it means​ that the Princ​e was roami​ng the land looki​ng for a woman​ with the perfe​ct fur slipp​er,​ figur​e it out yours​elf.

​The Hunch​back of Notre​ Dame - Ok, the retel​ling is long so wikip​edia it if you want the disne​y versi​on.​ In the Victo​r Hugo origi​nal Esmer​alda captu​res the heart​ of the Hunch​backs​ fathe​r (​adopt​ed)​ Froll​o.​ Event​ually​ Froll​o order​s Quasi​modo to get her. Hunch​y gets caugh​t and is tied down and whipp​ed.​ Ezzy sees him and gives​ him water​.​ Later​ Ezzy is accus​ed of killi​ng someb​ody Froll​o actua​lly kille​d and is sente​nced to hang.​ Hunch​y grabs​ her and takes​ her up to the cathe​dral where​ she is suppo​sedly​ safe under​ law. Froll​o gets a numbe​r of crimi​nals to rush the tower​ but the King acts inste​ad,​ sendi​ng soldi​ers to the tower​ to get her and keep the peace​.​ Hunch​y fight​s them to prote​ct Ezzy.​ Froll​o then betra​ys them,​ hands​ over Ezzy to be hange​d,​ and makes​ Hunch​y watch​ her hang.​ Huchy​ then throw​s him out of the top of the Cathe​dral and then runs down to where​ she was throw​n after​ she hung and lays with her until​ he dies of starv​ation​ days later​.​ Two years​ pass and peopl​e find them toget​her,​ Ezzy,​ with her neck broke​n,​ and Hunch​y,​ holdi​ng her. In short​,​ every​body dies.​ The End.

Snow White​ - The witch​ is a canni​bal and asks for not only her heart​,​ but her liver​,​ lungs​,​ etc. Inclu​ding a vial of her blood​ stopp​ered with her toe, becau​se she liter​ally wants​ to eat them.​ In the Disne​y versi​on she falls​ off a cliff​,​ which​ is inten​se,​ but in the Grimm​ versi​on she is made to wear red hot shoes​ and dance​ till she dies via tortu​re.​ Fun stuff​.​ Also,​ Snow white​ is only seven​.​ Pedop​hilia​ city.​

In concl​usion​ the Middl​e Ages were not very big on being​ happy​.​ Fairy​ Tales​ were tools​ to keep child​ren in check​ with sets of moral​s attac​hed to them.​ They preye​d off of super​stiti​on creat​ed by inten​se relig​ious pract​icing​ and simpl​e super​stiti​on in gener​al.​ (Oh, and all of these​ stori​es reall​y did origi​nate in the Middl​e ages as oppos​ed to the Renai​ssanc​e and after​.​ The Grimm​ telli​ngs and other​s are just writt​en accou​nts and stori​es based​ on oral stori​es passe​d down,​ hence​ the diver​ging stori​es and impos​sibil​ity to find a true origi​nal)​.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Invisible Man Needs To Grow A Pair

I just finished the 14th chapter of Invisible Man and I still don't know what it's about other than the sorry pathetic life of a black dude. I'm supposed to feel all this sympathy for him because he is black? No freaking way.

He doesn't even have a name because he doesn't know what his own identity is. How do you live your life without an identity? A person can be confused about their purpose in life, or the meaning of life because those require higher level thinking, but you have to be brain dead to not have a basic understanding of your personality and what you identity with.

He is gullible and lets people use him. Supposedly it was how he was raised. I don't buy it. He lets people walk all over him. He doesn't stand up for himself. If someone handed him a box and told him there were rainbows inside, he would believe it.

That's his own fault. He's not standing up for himself. He doesn't give anything; he doesn't try at all. The author expects us to feel sorry for someone who doesn't even make the slightest effort to stand up for himself. And I'm told it's a black man's journey and a type of awakening. Well he needs an awakening to something called reality.

When you find out someone is an ass, what do you do? Well if you are the narrator you let him feed you candy coated words after you've been betrayed and then freak out when you find out it was a lie. Then you get all set up for revenge because of how you've been treated.

No, I feel no sympathy for this dude. He just pisses me off.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Shoe

It was sitting on the curb, in the dark parking lot, a little shoe. Somewhere in the world a little boy was running around with only one shoe on his feet.

It was all to easy to know what had happened. A van had been parked by the curb. As the parents were putting their kids into the van, the shoe was knocked or kicked onto the ground. It was a new shoe, clean with no holes. No one notice the shoe's absence in the dark. It wouldn't be discovered until the next morning. Then the mom would be searching everywhere for the shoe, the car, his room, the living room. Then she would realize the shoe was gone, the new shoe. But he didn't have any other shoes, they had been thrown away and hauled off in the garabage truck. So what did they do?

This stressed me out a little. Would they come back and look for it? No, they wouldn't know where it was. Should I take it into the restruant? No, they might have been shopping at one of the surrounding stores. So what do I do? Leave it and block out these stressful thoughts.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Blank

I'm trying to think of something worthy to say about today.

But right now, I'm drawing a blank.

But the least I can say is this: I love you Caleb. Happy Birthday.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Not Strong Enough

I worked really hard in ballet class today but I'm at a problem.

Whenever we do developpes,I end up with my leg being somewhere around a 90 degree angle with the floor. Then, my teacher comes up behind me and picks up my leg way up high. I have the flexibility so it doesn't hurt at all, but I have no where near the strength to get it up there on my own.

So I need to work. Improve my core? Or just practice all the time? I'm not really sure.

In Pointe class for the last exercise we did pique turns and I actually did a full turn en pointe! It was really exciting. My teacher told me I had it, I just needed to work on my coordination.

So I guess I had a pretty good day. My legs are pretty sore from the jogging yesterday but I guess that's good because it means I did something right.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Cherry Is Annoying

"War is the most positive thing for an economy. I'm sorry, I don't think we should go bombing other countries for the sake of the economy, but it's true."

Talking to cherry is getting more and more tedius every time. He is so annoying. I want to be talking to gravity, not him. So does this mean I'm finally distancing myself emotionally from him? Maybe it does and that's a really good thing. See, I'm on my way to becoming normal. Scary isn't it?

That doesn't change my irrational obsession with gravity though. I volunteered to go out to the track today for PE with the other classes. That's his fault, look what he's done to me. What person in their right mind asks to run?

I jogged four laps and walked three. No one was timing so I didn't worry about the time, just pushed myself to see how long I could keep going. If I actually jogged everyday maybe I'd be strong enough to actually run a couple laps...but I'm a long way off from that. Especially after my long break.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Nope I'm Not Going To The Gym Tomorrow

I am so glad tomorrow is Wednesday (late start). I refused K when she tried to convince me to go the gym with her tomorrow. Waking up between six forty five and seven is tough enough right now...imagine five forty five! Actually I don't want to. It sounds painful.

My new ballet shoes are so comfty! I sewed the criss cross elastics between school and ballet, and took naps in between the stitches. lol I am so tired! Of course it's the last two weeks before finals so I have a ton of homework. Fun fun. not.

Monday, January 5, 2009

It's Monday?

Today didn't seem like a Monday. Maybe because I was so focused on K's birthday but at any rate I had fun. Waking up wasn't pleasant though.

Homework was stupid. I didn't even finish it all but I'm tired so I'm going to sleep.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Last Day Of Freedom

Today marked the last day of freedom until Spring Break. I finished up my french homework and now am about to finish my math. I am glad I spread it out over the last few days. Getting up early tomorrow does not sound like fun.

I am excited about going back to school for one reason: K's birthday is tomorrow. I have everything planned out. Tomorrow I'm going to wrap up our locker in wrapping paper. I have five gifts, one to leave her in the locker every day this week. I also have a bow and a ballon for every day too. I baked her chocholate chip cookies (her favorite dessert) for lunch tomorrow.

She had a mini party last night. We went over to her house then to a drive in movie theater. We needed two cars because there were six of us and I joked about who should drive since I am driving with an Oregon license, K can't drive other people around and the other guy's plate were expired. Lol but none of us got pulled over so we were okay.

The drive in movie was cool, I'd never been to one before. In fact the only time I'd even seen one was in those old movies. It was a double feature so we settled in front of screen four and watched Valkyrie. However, K wanted to see the Day the Earth Stood Still for the next movie which was at screen three. So she walks up the workers and says she lost her ticket and asks for the radio station. At the end of Valkyrie we drive over near Screen three but there are metal cones blocking it. However, we find an opening just big enough to drive through. K drives through but before I can we get stopped by the workers that K already tipped off.

They actually were pretty nice about it, though everyone in K's car got kicked out. He didn't kick anyone in my car out because my brother had said "she's about to drive through" and he told us he liked the honesty. That and I still technically hadn't broken any rules yet.

We went back to her friend's Morman Church and played hide and seek in the dark instead (which in my opinion was more fun than watching another movie).

It was fun night. Ugh waking up is going to be a butt.

Friday, January 2, 2009

2009 Goals

2009.
Here are my goals for this year.

1. Education

- maintain between a 3.5 and 4.0
- graduate high school
- start college

2. Ballet

-improve flexibility
  • extensions
  • arabeque
  • penche
  • backcatch
  • middle splits
  • right and left oversplits
  • bridge

-improve strength
  • extentions
  • develope
  • ankles
-pointe work
  • pirroutte
  • less wobble
  • turns
  • more steps


3. General Fitness

-8 minute mile
-jog three miles
-30 quick, full pushups

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The New Year

I just realized it was 2009. I mean I already knew that, my sister was shouting "Happy New Year" and "It's 2009" so loud last night I'm sure the whole world could hear her. But it just suddenly sank in.

Tell me why my stomach is all quesy? Alright, I'm scared. What's happening this year? I don't know. Anymore secrets yet to be revealed? I really hope not. Maybe a boring life isn't such a bad thing after all.

That and there is the whole growing up thing. Two months and I'm turning 18, I've said that before. Graduation is in June. I should be excited but I'm feeling anxious about moving forward. I don't know why. I don't care to look back at 2008. It's already done. I've blogged more entries than I can count here, why do I need to go back and talk about it again? It's over. Goodbye. Done with.

I kept trying to write a summary about 2008, the final, closing words. I wrote two different blogs but I couldn't publish either of them. Then I realized, why bother? Everything is already there.

2009.

I don't know if it will be a good year or a bad year. I don't know if I'm going to fall in love. I don't know if I'm actually going to lose those ten pounds. I don't know if I'm going to make new friends. I don't know if I'm going to lose people. And I'm not going to guess.