Can't Make Up

I don't know why I always look at you but I do.

And I can't help but wonder why do they love you? Because they didn't love me.

I'm not saying I deserved it. But it still would have been nice.

I hate having realizations. To make a realization means you've experienced something to lead to a conclusion. In my case this means I've either been walking around like the biggest idiot on the planet or I've managed to screw things up so badly...it's just bad.

I hate this because I know it doesn't matter that I've changed. I could be the most humble loving person to ever friggen walk this earth but it still wouldn't matter. You'd still love her instead. It's so hard to accept being past the point of no return, knowing I'll just have to go on with life and accept conditions as they are, knowing I can never change things.