Memory

What is your favorite memory?


A distant, overused question. I've always answered it with a shrug, "I don't know." I've honestly never been able to narrow down all the memories to one favorite...until now.

It just hit me suddenly while I was reading the question and I knew. The thought twists in my stomach and makes me feel sick. It shouldn't be a favorite memory and I'm glad until now I've been able to forget. Now I shall remember it though. It will follow me down the halls and through the rooms and I will not be able to rid myself of it. The events of the season will haunt me till the day I die. But remembering I can feel the warmth, feel content, feel the grass and the sun. Even the dog barking in the distance...I remember it all. The conversation has faded away but the smilies are still there.

I do not want to remember. This state of denial, wishful thinking and remorse must stop. I only wish I could. How hard is it to be the better person? Couldn't I for once be the person they made me into?

It is the first of May. In two months it will be summer. It can't have been that long ago. Wasn't it yesterday? Have I been drifting for so long this past year? The answer is yes...but I don't know what to do.