Power

I'm happy right now as I live out a fantasy in my head. In my fantasy I can see myself jumping up and down and squealing at the top of my lungs. At the other end of my brain I see another picture but it's not a pretty one. A small sullen figure curled up in the corner. Fantasy aside this is what he has the power to do to me.

Tomorrow it will have been two weeks. I think I'm about to go crazy. Spring break is scaring me already. Today I was supposed to go to the mall but cancelled so I could go babysit for a family that is really easy and pays very well. I got 60 dollars for seven hours. =) I'm happy to cancel on my friends anytime for that. But if I was him the world could be ending and I wouldn't care. He'll cancel on me for anything but I wouldn't cancel on him if it killed me.

Yesterday was the most depressing Easter I've ever experinced. The overall mood the family is very down cast and my added dreariness doesn't help. The candy was good, the egg hunt challenging and the food plentiful but that's where it ends. The most important part of Easter for my whole family didn't even exist.

I wanted to make it better but I can't. My mood swings back and forth though, right now I don't even care. The one thing that never changes though is how I feel for him. I called him three times this weekend and listened to his answering machine. I didn't leave a message and he didn't call me back.