It's Too Late

I feel horrible. I'm coming down with a cold and I still haven't been able to go running.

I've been so argressive today. It's like I have all this pent up anger inside me. I don't know why it's anger though. At school i had an intense need to listen to music all day. Then when I got home I started yelling because I couldn't find my wallet to get my permit. Then I drove 'horribly', not stopping at the unprotected intersection because I was trying to get out of the way of a bus, not slowing down to check if a train was coming at the railroad and gliding down the hill. All of which earned a lecture. Also I was privilaged the what happens if you are in an accident lecture. When mom told me I took the hill to fast when I glided I said "okay I'll slow down but I've been doing that for years. I was in complete control." Yay for getting bitched out and labeled foolish. Whatever she has no life.

She got a camera today. She's been obsessing over it for the past two weeks. Out of the blue she wants a big, fancy camera. She doesn't even shoot with the camera she has. I can't figure out why she wanted a real one. Thank God it came today. Maybe now she can relax for more than two seconds?

I danced not so good today in class. The physical exercise didn't calm me one bit though. The second I was back in the car it all came back. I wonder if the emotions are what is making me sick? I doubt it though, everyone seems to be coming down with a cold. He is even recovering from one. Bryant will soon have one though since he "doesn't care" if Im sick. Whatever.

I'm so tired I think I might try and sleep. Tomorrow I am going running if it kills me. It's going to kill me if I don't get it all out soon. Even if I'm sick and it's pouring rain I'm still going too. I think I need sex right now. Really bad. Crap. Where's a desperate guy when I need one?