Finally Closure

Today I ate pizza for the first time since Halloween 2004.

I really wanted that pizza. lol Amazingly I'm not really sick. I wouldn't go so far to say I feel great but nothing like October 04. That was so horrible it wasn't funny. Granted I'm not moving around a lot and drank a ton of water but still. Maybe my body can handle dairy in small amounts? That would be nice.

Caleb's burial was today. I didn't cry at all and actually watched facinated through the wholte burial process. I'd never been to one before so I didn't know how they did it. The hole was very small...the little white box wasn't very big. He was buried in Baby Land. Isn't that sad? I was reading some of the headstones...little babies who lived days, months, even one was five years old. Some of the babies didn't have names and some stones didn't have dates, only the year.

I'm glad I went. I think it was a good closure. I'm not saying I'm not sad anymore. I am and I do still miss him. But I think when I went and held him it was real to me. The little cold body I held was not a baby. It wasn't Caleb. It was just a body. To me it doesn't make so much of a difference if he is in the ground, a freezer or on a table. Really he's in Heaven and that's all that matters.

Tomorrow is offically the weekend. I'll try not to go crazy this time. Tomorrow I'm going up to Mount Hood with Key Club until 3:30 and then I should do homework. I have a stupid history paper on Lincoln. I have no idea what to write about. The instructions were to analyzie Lincoln as a leader. That's all he gave me to go off of. Ugggg Then I could do laundry, type up the rest of my CIM paper, clean off my computer, vaccum my room and write script for HAMS final. Okay it looks like I'll have plenty to do tomorrow. Also I could watch Grey's Anatomy since I missed it last night.

I'll still have to figure out Monday...three day weekend. Sunday I'll be pretty busy with church in morning and youth group in evening. Except it might be harder because I'll be fasting all day.

You know what? I'm going to go to bed before I get depressed thinking aboout everything I have to do. lol Need to pick out clothes for tomorrow...