RoseinGarden

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Concept of ID is B.S.

I feel like I passed my midterm with a C. Usually, a C is the end of the world to me but today a C is good. Today I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, making arrangements for us to go and preparing my application.

Of course Alex decided to mention to me during dinner that his state ID is in his lost/stolen wallet along with his social security card and he can't find his birth certificate either. What does that mean? It means that he has no valid picture ID. How am I going to get him on a train? God, just strike me down now.
Even though he has his W2, work badge and library card, I'm really not feeling confident that he'll be able to get on the train.

I need to relax. After 3 hours of sleep and no rest today, I'm exhausted.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dead Grandparents and Midterms

Last night I told Alex my house was a crisis. Well, I woke up this morning and it was.

Teary eyed mom broke the news that the doctor said Grammy wasn't doing well and he wasn't sure if she'd make it. She was really upset. Two days earlier my grandma had been fine. Yesterday, she wouldn't talk when my mom called her. Now, she was dying. The first thing I said was, "Get on a plane and go see her." Hey, it's what I would do.

Soon after I escaped the depressing house to see Alex, she passed away. I haven't see all of us cry since Dad lost his job.

It doesn't feel real to me. My dad was with her when she died, and he told me it didn't feel real to him either even though he was with her, telling her to keep breathing. He held the phone up to her ear so my mom could talk to her, but my grandma was completely unresponsive. I hope that somehow she did hear my mom.

I cry. I laugh. I procrastinate studying for the midterm. I dump my Halloween plans and start making calls to California trying to find people to party with. Come on, I'm 18 and I don't care if my grandma died, I want a party for Halloween. Have to throw out pumpkins with Breezy and that depresses me even more than the deadness. I was going to carve a fish. =( So funerals stink but you can't not go. They are like required unless you want to be permanently stuck in the grieving cycle.

Oh and I'm pulling on all-night. First official college all-nighter too. (Friday nights don't count.) Aren't you proud of me? Bring on the coffee.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Midterms Crisis

I'm too busy to write the blogs I want to write. Alas, I must make sacrifices. Blame world war 1 for stimulating my imagination.

Anyways life racap:

Will is a swiner. That's my term for anyone who has contracted H1N1. I am a person who has been exposed and only came down with a sore throat and cough meaning I don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

I found out at Saturday at my 3rd Flowers rehearsal that one of the girls dropped out of Nutcracker.

Yesterday I took the Red Cross CPR for Professional Rescuers class. Now I'd really like someone to stop breathing so I can practice on them.

Today I had school, a TB test and costume fitting. I am taking over the other girl's part and even though Jacquie took me out of Maids, I'm back in it.

Oh and what I haven't been talking about is that my living arrangements will be changing this January.

Hoping to turn in my CNA class application this Friday.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Run This Town

Since I watched the music video with closed captioning one morning this summer this song has really disturbed me.

If you can get past everything that makes this song a 'rap' there is a message and I don't like it. This is what is popular on the radio and typically listeners identify with what they listen to. What future are we heading for?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I Hate It.

I am a truly terrible, awful immoral person because when I went to dance I found out my teacher is out for two weeks. And I was glad.

She's probably really sick but I'm happy. Immoral, awful, terrible, truly.

Having Cindy instead, being able to not be afraid of the sound of my name, being able to work hard without the ballet boot camp mentality, makes me happy. Makes me think I'll be okay if I go to class this week. It means I won't spend next Tuesday and Thursday afternoon telling Alex about how much I'm dreading it. It means I won't question my sanity, won't question why I even bother to go anymore. It means I won't have to hold my tongue, when she threatens to demote me; not say that I wouldn't even care.

I hate Nutcracker because it's the only reason I stay. I hate Nutcracker because I love it so much. I hate that my determination at rehearsals forces me to show up for class.

I hate that I won't leave until Jacquie will look me in the eye and tell me I did a good job. I won't leave until she finally tells me I have a beautiful arabesque, that my feet are nicer than Britney's and that I am a dancer. It won't ever happen but that doesn't mean it's not true. It just means I'm a stronger dancer because I'll be trained to not rely on admiration but to consume criticism.

I hate that because we are so strong it makes us ballet dancers. I hate that it is the pure difference between our discipline and other forms of dancing like jazz, contemporary, tap or hip hop.

I hate it.

Monday, October 19, 2009

West Nile Fever Depresses Me

It's true, mosquitoes are bad. The West Nile Fever can be caused by some mosquitoes and that is also, in turn bad be cause death can result. So we all should probably vote for measures to be taken against these mosquitoes.



But I'm still sad and uninspired but all this. Seriously.

And if I get the Swine Flu from Will I'm going to kill him. This week I have two exams, a presentation and a 9 hour long CPR class. Like I said, I will kill him. I've been disinfecting surfaces and seriously considering the possibility of not breathing. I can get sick next week. Not this week. Also I won't let anyone else in the house touch me either.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

iQuit

As of right this moment, there are three things wrong with my life.

To start off, Alex doesn't think this video is funny! Linky. It's the best! I'm so glad they had it on the Cleveland Show lol.

Secondly, Will has the flu. I'm doomed.

Lastly, I received the voting packet in the mail. It's the first time I'm eligible to vote since my mom made me register. (I would have registered anyways, but apparently it was not optional.) There is only one single issue we are voting on.

Mosquitoes.

Yes, mosquitoes or West Nile Mosquitoes to be specific.

The first time I can vote and it's asking me if I think a tax for mosquito preventative measures should be renewed. Seriously?

I feel like i should quit politics forever.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pointe Just Killed My Feet

Thursdays are pointe day's but last class we only took barre en pointe. Today, we took the entire class in our pointe shoes. All two hours of it. Standing on my toes.

I'm not sure how I survived and I am not looking forward to long Nutcracker rehearsals in those dumb shoes. I did however find out that Jacquie picked my to be the solo angel because I berea so nicely. Wow. That made me feel really good. It also makes me feel slightly pressured to do better than ever. Okay, it makes me feel a lot more pressured.

As for the current state of my feet, the section of my foot right above my toes, is bruised on my right foot, so when I walk it feels like I have a broken foot. My toes are still bright pink and it's been a few hours. I also spent some quality time with the ice packet. There was only minimal relief.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Rough Yoga Start

Does yoga really work in boosting the immune system? We may ever know.

After my first yoga time I felt amazing afterward. I woke up with a cold the next morning. Do you believe me now when I say I get sick a lot? Upside down poses feel funny when combined with a stuffy nose.

I bought a new baby rat yesterday. Her name is Desirae or Desy for short. She's very small, skiddish and mostly white but I already love her. She is starting to relax a bit and trusts me and Alex already. Thank goodness I bought her an igloo. Hiding is her favorite activity!

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Killers Confound Me

"Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked the girlfriend I had in February."



I don't get it!!!!!

Does Yoga Really Work? It Sounds Promising.

The worst place to leave me alone in is a library. Why is that you ask? It's simple, what is inside a library? Books. Lots of them.

Hundreds of books I'll never find the time to devour but a few select ones I'll get my hands on.

I haven't been completely naughty today. I read 10 pages of Western Civ as I ate my turkey sandwich today. (Ten pages in the maximum I can read in history before my brain tunes out the words.)

I just happened to spend the next hour and a half pouring over a book about Yoga and Woman's Health which just so happened to be an amazing book. Not only does it have instructions and pictures for how to do each pose, it has different sequences of poses for different focuses. I had no idea of the amazing health benefits of yoga! It can be used to help regulate menstrual cycles, to help eliminate PMS, to prepare for pregnancy, to energize and to help boost the immune system.

Improve Your Circulation

Good surveillance- the seek-and-destroy mission of the immune cells-depends on good circulation. Remember that immune cells not only live in specific sites in your body, but also roam freely throughout the bloodstream and lymphatic fluids looking for foreign organisms. And, because your immune system relies on information from the central nervous and endocrine systems, good circulation allows immune cells to communicate freely with the pituitary gland, pineal body, hypothalamus, lymphatic tissues, and other immune cell sites like the gastrointestinal tract, repository track, and skin.

Inversions are yoga's gift to your circulation system. Headstand, Shoulderstand, and Plough Pose all improve blood flow to the endocrine glands. When you are in a pose, Patricia says it helps to visualize what yoga masters call the squeezing, soaking, and massaging action of the posture. In Shoulderstand, for example, you can feel how a chin lock exerts gentle massage pressure on the throat, "squeezing" out the stale blood. As you release the pose, visualize the area being soaked with new, healthy immune cells and flooded with blood to regulate their function. By turning everything upside down, inversions energize and stabilize the whole system. According to yoga researcher, Krishna Raman, author of A Matter of Health, yoga's squeeze-and-soak action pushes out cellular toxins more efficiently than other forms of exercise.

He also writes that the massage action in general brings freshly oxygenated blood to your skin, which promotes "healthy output of antibacterial secretions," enhances blood flow to your respiratory tract, and pushes blood into your bone marrow, increasing your body's ability to produce immune cells. What most women know is that Shoulderstand makes them feel joyful and balanced, energized and peaceful at the same time.

-Woman's Book of Yoga and Health
Linda Sparrowe
Patricia Walkden


I get majorly and inconveniently sick a lot. This includes respiratory illnesses, skin diseases, sore throats and bladder infections. Fun stuff.

Fall 2009
  • Strep Throat
Summer 2009
  • Urinary Tract Infection
  • Yeast Infection
Summer 2008
  • Pityriasis Rosea
  • Strep Throat
  • Fifth's Disease
Winter 2007
  • The Flu
  • Bronchitis
That is not to mention all of the colds I caught during this time as well.

So I am going to embark on a journey of yoga and see if I can increase my immune system. I'm also interested to see if balancing my endocrine system would have any effect on my hypothyroidism. I shall see if yoga truly works.

Friday, October 9, 2009

So What It's Friday

It's Friday but I do not share in the excitement shared by the country. It's partly because I have only been in school for three weeks (already a quarter of the way through the first term!), but I spent an entire summer where every day was Friday.

If we added up the amount of money spent on "parties" this summer, it would total to well over several hundred dollars. That's a lot of money! What about all that wasted time?

Secondly, my schedule is light meaning I can sleep in every other day. It's great! I can get up at 6 on Monday and sleep until noon on Tuesday. I have time to study before ballet class in the evening.

My schedule is about to become more demanding though now that rehearsals are about to begin. My parts in the Nutcracker are (tentatively):

Act 1 Party Scene:
Maid
Solo Angel

Act 1 Battle Scene:
Solo Angel

Act 1 Snow Scene:
Snowflake Corp

Act 2 Land of Sweets
Solo Angel
Flowers Corp substitute

My first rehearsal in tomorrow for Flowers. I've never been a sub before so it will be interesting seeing how that goes.

Yesterday, was "Pointe Day" for inter. 2 class. Instead of a half hour of pointe at the end of class, we spent the first hour of barre en pointe. Ow? Now my left knee hurts. It started during weight lifting today. Today was my heavy day so I was pushing so I probably aggravated my knee. Ugh. I've been icing it for the last hour or so but it still hurts. Not sure how I'm going to run a mile in the morning like I was planning and then go to rehearsal. This sucks.

Last night Jacquie told me she wants me to take inter 2 on Tuesdays instead of inter 1. I think she is trying to torture me now...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Did You Know One Of The Stages Of Grief Is Called Overcompensation?

Alright fine, I'll admit it, I stopped at the pet store on the way home from ballet. I talked with the Pet and Pond store owner and he told me he would have rats in next Tuesday afternoon.

So I looked at the rat cages and holy crap they are expensive. Mattimeo was so little he lived in an aquarium, but I had been planning on buying him a larger, wire cage. I didn't know it would cost an upwards of 80 dollars! Lucky for me, a used cage was also sitting on the shelf. It was dirty and older, but it only cost 10 dollars. Oooh hard choice, not.I'm planning to take the middle platform out and add a hammock and ladder. Mattimeo would have loved that cage. It's killing me. Climbing and jumping was his thing.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

If I'm Caught Calling Out On These People I Might Lose My Head

Earlier this week I watched an episode of Wife Swap, a TV show where producers pair two families with extreme opposing styles of parenting and the wives switch places for two weeks. For the first half of the trip each wife must follow the family routine but for the second half the families have to follow their new mom/wife’s rules. On the particular episode I watched, a family who unschooled their children and an extremely structured and busy family switched wives. The family who unschooled, a term meaning they homeschooled their children without using any textbooks or a curriculum, gave a bad name to nearly every homeschooling family in America. The children only studied the subjects they were interested in studying. For example, the boys were not interested in math or writing and so their mother did not teach them any math or writing skills. It was discovered that the forth grade boy wrote at about a first or second grade level. The entire family was a mess and it gave me a headache to watch the disaster unfold.


It was the opinions expressed by the parents of the unschooled boys that made me start to think, partly because they mirrored the same opinions I’ve heard my whole life. “Public schools are places for brain washing.” “Public schools are destroying religion.” “Public schools break down children and no real learning takes places.” As children we were told that public schools should really be called government schools.

There is a simple answer to the madness of this. Americans are greedy, selfish and undeserving of the education they are receiving.


How often in countries such as India and Uganda do you hear parents complaining about the type of education their children are receiving? In these types of countries parents and students are grateful for the chance to go to school because having an education means they have a better shot at an easier life. In America, drop out rates are high because Americans do not want an education. They aren’t starving, working in fields or walking miles to haul a single bucket of water. Instead, they are sitting on their bottoms in front of the TV, playing Wii and checking their Facebook on their iPhone.

Having forgotten what it would be like to be denied an education, people find time to complain about the one they or their children are receiving. However, public schools are not the only choice.

The United States government provides a public school system, maintained by the taxpayers, for all children to be able to go to school but does not force every child to attend. Private schools and homeschooling are two other options parents can choose from. These homeschooling parents do not simply reject the public school system and teach in a way they see fit; they spend as much time as possible criticizing the system while staying as far away from it as possible.


The reasons some parents chose homeschooling frustrates me. They believe schools are destroying religion. Wake up call, the United States was not founded under God. It was founded under religious freedom. Religious freedom does not mean schools can still pray together, require the Bible as a textbook or study creationism. It means that individual students can dress as modestly as they choose, read their Bible during study hall and pray before they eat lunch. If a public school teaches one religion, they have to teach every religion. It’s not possible. As a parent, it’s your job to talk about religion with your child at home and at your place of worship.

Secondly, learning takes place in school, not brain washing. Presently, teachers are focusing on teaching concepts, critical thinking and facts. It is every teacher’s goal that their students can be able to listen to an idea, process it and question it. Is this possible to achieve in the first grade? Not likely. It's a progression and takes several years for the brain to mature enough for children to be able to really, truly think for themselves and not just repeat what they've heard in different words.

Even in math, teachers try to show why and where theorems and formulas came from. Academically, it’s not about brainwashing. When evolution is taught or any subject that might be conflicting or uncomfortable, it’s an opportunity for parents and students to have discussions at home. For parents to say they don’t want evolution to be taught, it’s similar for me saying I only want to learn about capitalism and the free market and that I have deemed it immoral to study anything pertaining to socialism and dictators. That’s absurd!

I’m yet to see any evidence of a Hitler’s Youth/government propaganda presence in any of the schools I’ve been to. The clubs at the middle school I went to included student council, OSSOM (Operation Student Safety on the Move), yearbook, AWSEM (Advocates for Women in Science, Engineering, and Mathematics) and art club. None of those sound to threatening. In high school Key Club, a service club that paints little kids faces and plants flowers, and National Honors Society, another service club that students with higher GPAs joined to look good for college, were the most popular. There were also Thespians, choir council, archery, human rights group and a few others that didn’t cause any disturbances. The Gay-Straight Alliance was the most controversial club, having all of its posters torn down repeatedly. All in all, I never saw any brainwashing or government propaganda taking place.


Public schools also provide ways for parents to voice their opinions and become involved in their child's learning. Constructive complaining is extremely useful and I fully encourage it! No policy is so good that it cannot be questioned. How it is approached can be the difference of whether or not the teachers and administrators care. I've seen so many parents storming and yelling, handling the situation like a seventh grader. In response, these parents are also treated as if they were a seventh grader.


I do not believe homeschooling is wrong in any way shape or form, as long as the children receive teaching in all subjects and are progressing normally. In many ways homeschooling allows students to progress faster because the subjects they are naturally good at can be completed faster and the ones that they struggle with can be worked through. Some parents use grades, others do not. What’s important is the learning that is taking place.

It’s the attitudes of many of these parents that annoy me so much. No school is perfect and teachers are learning new ways to help students learn differently, but that does not make them evil places of government indoctrination.