I Kept My Goals

Did you keep your new year's resolutions? It's okay if you didn't, there is always this year.


1. Backcatch

Classified: Work in Progress

2. Grand Jete


Classified: Work in Progress

3. Higher Arabesque
Classfied: Completed


4. Higher Penche

Classified: Completed

5. Go en Pointe

Classified: Completed

6. Get license

Classified: Completed

I'm not the most flexible or the most dedicated person out there. But I wanted to see these things happened and I'm on my way to making them look good. I still have a ways to go though and I'm expecting to integrate these into my next year's goals.

See I can be optimistic if I try.

Abortions Are Easier To Get Than Library Cards

My story is now a grand total of 9000 words and 35 pages double spaced. I know it's silly to keep track of that but I like to measure my progress in terms of words. Today I wrote about six pages, 1500 words, which is pretty good if you consider the average essay I write is between 750 and 2000 words.

I didn't have anything worth mentioning today because friend canceled on me, again. Of course he had a perfectly good reason, I just hate being canceled on.

I decided to read the book I had snagged from the library the other day...



On K's card because they wouldn't give me a card. Not for a good reason like I don't have a California license but because I'm not eighteen and need a parent to sign a piece of paper in person to let me get one. That really pissed me off.


My dad's new line is: In Claremont abortions are easier to get than library cards [for minors]


He used it in his sermon and I'm told jaws dropped. Yay I play a role in shocking people. Though I'm told he used the words "if she needed an abortion" so I told family if anyone asks me if I'm pregnant I'm telling them yes. lol


But anyways I read this book Revelation, which ended up being the 8th book in a series but I really liked it. (By Kate Brian). That inspired me to write.

But my day pretty much sucked as was boring. At least no school.

Accepted

So today I recieved a letter from Cal State Fullerton....and I was admitted.

Now I can't help but feel really happy because a college actually wants me to be their student.

Fullerton looks good...it has a really good performing arts department. I'll plan on going and visiting the campus to see what it's like up close.

But at the same time I'm sad because it's still California and not U of O. I haven't sent in my application there because I don't think I could turn it down if I was accepted. I wish I had the money to go!

I was telling J about Fullerton and how I was accepted and all. He was wishing me the best but I reminded him it was only an if. If I might go. and he said "It sounds great. Why wouldnt you"

I don't really know the answer to that. Maybe if I didn't go I would be turning down a huge oppertunity. But it's not like Fullerton is the only college out there. I could easily go to Cal Poly (not the I want too) or spend two years at Citrus or Mount Sac.

The problem is...I'm torn. I know staying here means a better chance at sucess. Southern California is huge with more jobs and more chances. I know Oregon doesn't have that...I've always known that. But I left my heart in Clackamas...I left it with gravity, in his arms. But it's too late for that. I'll never get that back. I lost that battle a long time ago in a life, so far away.

Starting Homework

I began my homework today. I opened up Invisable Man with the intension of reading all six chapters but only finished the first one. I plan to read some more tonight though.

In addition to reading, for English I also need to write a rough draft Cause and Effect essay. Then my French teacher assigned four half page writing assignments. No essays for math, just a page of bookwork. For economics, Mr. Sieg gave us a sheet with ten essay questions on it. Five of them will be on the final. So I plan on writing ten essays for econ as well.

My dad filled up my gas tank for me today at Costco. We went into the store to buy some water and tomatoe sauce and I had my glasses adjusted. They are always slipping down my nose so the lady bent the ends so they curve around my ears. So far it seems to be working great.

Did you know there are only two months until my birthday?

Merry Christmas

I may have a history of not being very enthusiastic about holidays, but I have always loved Christmas and was able to muster up some spirit.

And not just because of the gifts.

Though I must admit, I do really like my presents. Presents include

• mp3 player
• leotard
• tights
• ballet slippers

(my tights are super ripped and my toes stick out of the holes in my shoes, lol)

• Technical Manual and Dictionary of Classical Ballet
• NYCB poster.

I've also recieved lots of lip gloss, nail polish, candy, a gift certificate to Old Navy and twenty dollars. That's pretty nice, don't you think?

We went out to cousin's house for a meal and hung out there most of the day. On our way back we stopped at my uncle's house briefly to see him, cousin and grandma.

On the 23rd my parents took the family plus K to go see this neighborhood filled with christmas lights. We ended up sitting in the car for almost two hours just waiting to get in but it was still fun.

On Christmas Eve there was a short service at church and everyone was given a candle. I did not take one because I still have a slight fear of them since catching my hair on fire at the age of four at a candlelight service. lol. Autumn kept teasing me the whole time but I got some good pictures.

We made sugar cookies later and Joe and I really got into it. My cookies were the best of course but when I would transfer them from the cutting board to the pan before we cooked them, the dough kept breaking. So I performed surgery on them and then Joe made up stories such as The legend of the half reindeer. For a moment it was like we were kids again, laughing and making up stories like we used to do every day. That is really rare. It was cool.

Christmas Shopping Is Insane

I should have known better then to try to go to the mall the weekend before Christmas. I am positive there were more people in the Montclare mall parking lot then in all of Happy Valley. Aiihh.

Thankfully, I did get presents for K and M, with Autumn in tow. I just told her we were going to the mall and she willing followed me around for two hours.

Oh and I cleaned my room today! It looks really good. I feel so relaxed knowing I don't have school for awhile.

2008 School Year Over

Last day of school of 2008 was today. Thank you. First semester is almost over.

My friends gave me presents today! I'm going Christmas shopping tomorrow...finally. K gave me this huge box with fun stuff, M gave me an amazing hat and earring and C gave me some lip gloss and candy.

I found some time to type up the pages I wrote for my story this week during school. It added up to a couple of pages...about 1600 words. For now Chapter One is finished. I've got other stuff all over the place but it's a good feeling to finally have the beginning done. I'll probably work more on chapt 3/4 ish next because I'm really excited for that part.

I'm actually really excited for this whole project as I was telling A. The part I typed up today was actually some of my best story writing. =)

Iced Car

Oh my feet hurt so much! Ballet was long today...I got there early at 3:30 and left a little before 6:30. When I got home, I helped my dad prepare chinese food for dinner. It was all frozen and had little pouches of sauce. It was fun but I was so hungry!

This morning when I got outside my car was iced over. The windshield had a quatre inch of ice on it. It was really pretty and truely a photogenic moment but I was going to be late for school. Thankfully my dad knew where the ice scraper was and scraped the ice off for me. Tonight, the car is in the garage.

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. At least it's only a half day. All week I've been pretty exciting thinking about today but I'm too tired right now to think.

Hate Church Socializing

My body hurts. We went to the gym this morning...now muscles hurt, headache and tired. I've been really lazy tonight and not done any of my homework yet. I watched the Hills instead. =)

I spent dinner ranting to my mom about stupid California drivers and how much I hate church functions. She went to the choir party but I'd honestly rather die. They have refreshments and do what...talk like old people? How boring is that? I hate any church social gathering...potlucks, dinners, 'parties' whatever. I sincerely doubt any of these ex-pastor/missionaries have any idea what a party is.

There is a reason I teach Sunday school: so I can stay the hell away from the rest of them. I hate being around them and I hate talking to them. Every Sunday I try to sneak through the door and each time the guy handing out bulletins tries to hand me one. I refuse each time, I don't even look at him anymore.

Wishing I was in Oregon where I could have slept in all this week. But at least we got rain. Poor southern California needs it. Now, maybe some green can grow? I hope so. I wish we could have a garden and some fruit trees but we'd need a house for that. I miss gardening, I'd even go outside and weed if I could.

Too Much Homework When I'm This Tired

I'm in a good mood right now. I just finished a project for economics. We wrote a page summary on an article of our choosing on inflation or unemployment in the last year. We have to present them orally over the next two days. I wrote mine on an article from January 2008 that talks about the warning signs of unemployment. I wrote a page and a half and practiced talking a couple of times. I went through it once with my dad because talking in front of the class makes me pretty nervous and he gave me some pointers for starting and ending.

J says Clackamas gets the day off again tomorrow. They are hoping the snow/ice will last all week, making winter break three weeks long. Of course K is making me going to the gym with her tomorrow, bye bye late start extra sleep, I'm getting up at 5:30. Hopefully, anyways. I'm excited about Friday though, it's a half day. I just have to survive school until then. I have so much more homework tonight! I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do, and what I'm going to skip. I'm really tired right now.

Well I need to write a paragraph in french about what I did over the weekend. Funny, but I'm starting to perfer talking in French to writing.

39 Umbrellas

I counted 39 umbrellas in the first ten minutes of school.

Rain is nice...not as good as snow but I'll take rain anyday. Southern California needs more rain, not just for my sake but to keep the fires away. Of course because the rain was so sudden and heavy mud slides are probably a huge risk right now. But for now I'll just be happy that it rained.

A girl came up to me today and told me it's really obvious that I like someone. This confused me a little because I don't have any feelings for him...at least the guy I think she meant. That's the problem with common names...I told her I thought he was a little cute but didn't like him and she said it was obvious. Okay...

Oh gosh, sophomores.

It's Snowing in Portland, So Not Fair

We relaxed my hair again this afternoon. I need to get it cut into long layers though. It's all one length and is very blah. But if I get short layers it will release the curl which is very bad. lol.

The chemicals pulled some more of the red out of my hair. Not that there was much left. It's more brownish then ginger but that's going to change soon. In the next two weeks I'm going to bleach it blond just for fun.

I mean if I live in California I might as well try to look California for once. Maybe I'll buy some oversized sunglasses too.


It's snowing in Portland. Well, it snowed. a lot. School is closed tomorrow, the city all shut down. That's the funny thing about Portland, a little snow and they freak out, lock themselevs in their house and crawl into the fetal position. But who doesn't like a day off from school, so we never cared.

I miss that. I want to be there with them, experiencing it. I want to be celebrating that instead of venturing out into the thirty degree winds, I get to stay snuggled up in my bed for a few extra hours and then go outside and play in the snow. But instead I'm here, where sixty degrees sends a chill. yeah right.

IPB Nutcracker

A lady from my church took me to see Inland Pacific's The Nutcracker. It was freaking amazing.

The dancing was wonderful, the costumes were beautiful. I loved loved loved it. I wanted to get up and start dancing as I was watching it. It seems like so long ago when I was in The Nutcracker. I wonder if I ever will dance in one again...

Oh and speaking of dancing, I never mentioned the results of the Cinderella audition. I am a seamstress and made it into the Claremont Youth Ballet Junior Company. I'm not sure what the CYB JR company actually is but it sounds cool, right?

Last night went to friend from youth group's show. His band was called Resistance. They were okay, started out sounding kind of indie/experimental and then became a little more rock. Most of the audience was his family though and that was kinda weird. We stayed to hear the second band play. We were sitting on the floor laughing and I looked around and all of a sudden the room is filled with fat old Mexicans. It was really funny. The band was middle aged and looking at them we were like okay... But One Sided Smile's opening notes were really good. Hooked, we stayed to watched them. Funny looking, but good music.

I wrote two more pages for my story tonight.

More Dance Less School Equals Happy Emily

I have a picture of a ballerina as my desktop background. Everytime I look at her, poised in a perfect back attitude, I feel envious. Why can't I look like that? Or when will I look like that?

Well, honestly I know I won't ever look quite that good but I'd like to look better than now. I'm not slacking off: it just takes a long time. She's showing off years of dicipline.

That and I only take two technique and one pointe class a week. This girl obviously dances six days a week, with no doubt numerous technique, pointe, variations, pas de deux classes and probably cross trains in other styles. That's a huge difference. I'm sure if I took five ballet classes a week I'd improve faster but I don't have the time, money or heart. I mean I like ballet and dancing, a lot, but I don't love it like that. I couldn't turn over my whole life for it. Plus pirrouttes depress me; I don't think I could handle that much depression. lol

But I do want to increase my dancing. That's part of the reason I want to be a dance major. When I don't have any school to distract me I really really want to go to class. When I'm tired and cranky from dealing with school, not loving it so much. So less school and more dancing would make me happy.

Afer our trip to the gym yesterday I thought I would be really sore today. I'm peasantly surprised to only have some soreness in my inner thighs and my back is sore from ballet today. That's nice.

Exhusted

I am so tired right now and I have a headache from hell.

K wanted to go to the gym so I got up at 5:30 to go pick her up and be at the gymn by six. Now, I'm not a monring person at all but waking up actually wasn't so bad. I like going the the gym, it's fun even though I'm pathetially weak.

But now I'm about to fall over I'm so tired after school and youth group party.

Can't I Stay Home Too

My dad got to stay home from church today. WTF? This whole "I'm sick excuse" is getting old. If pastor doesn't go to church, pastor's daughter shouldn't have to either. Stupid.

But I had sunday school to teach anyways. I actually like teaching but I hae going to church and having to talk to the people there. All they ever ask is how is school? The answer of course is I hate school now. It sucks. Thanks for asking. One of these days I swear I'm going to blow up at them. I hate them.

Afterwards went to meet a friend from youth group (different church) at a new shopping center in Chino Hills. It's a long drive though but I like getting away from stupid Claremont.

Did some writing this evening. I finished writing essay for WWU and hopefully I'll have that application submitted by the end of the week.

Also worked on my story about Allison. I typed up two pages I had lying on my desk. I have to find the notebook that has a different scene in it. The story now has about twenty pages. I wrote the first sixteen with it just being a short story but when I finished it, I realized it wasn't the whole story, it was only part of it. I'm working on the beginning of the story now and skipping around a little. I'll write the ending later.

Stupid Christmas Party

Spent a long time today looking forne music and organizing my iTunes.



Got dragged off to stupid church function. Christmas party, kill me. I 'got' to be photographer and take pictures of Christmas trees and the kids sitting on Santa's lap. Oh and I got to entertain the kids for an hour with no material, totally improvised. That wis tough. They were can beso incredibly loud and energetic...three dozen conversations going on at once...or at least that is what it sounded like.



Was supposed to go to morning ballet class but slept through it. lol

I Like Shows

I've decided I like going to shows. Even though by the end of any given Friday night I'm completely exhusted, I like staying out late.

Ugh who wants to stay at home? especially with my depressing family. Don't you just love how in Oregon they were sad and never left the house...and yet here they are in Cali and guess what? They still never leave the house. Apparently the amount of sunlight that streams through the windows determines there satisfaction with life.

Riiight. I can't wait to get out of this fucked up life.

Sucky Internet

I love how you try so hard but don't try at the same time, and still don't make it.

Wow. So true. My basketball performance describes me life.

I wish I had money and could buy clothes. The clothes I try on at the store are really cute. If I had money and could wear them around people would love my sense of style. But no...I have no job and no money and therefore no cute clothes.

What I do have is really sucky not loading interent.