I'm Ready

You know today actually wasn't a bad day. My life is so much happier now! I can't stop smiling.

So even though my mom has more drama than one person can handle, today wasn't bad. She'll be okay though because she's got us on her side and while we can't protect her we can stand with her and fight. It's crazy that some people actually think they can mess with us.

I didn't want to get involved because none of this has been aimed at me. Even though it felt like the Fellow's hated me them never actually said "I hate you." I held off because I couldn't bear the thought of them not being a part of my future. I know this sounds stupid but imagining them not being there at my wedding someday is more than I could take. They were like my aunt and uncle, family and I really loved them.

But this is wrong. It's been too long and I can't let them hurt me like this. What they are doing is wrong and I can't stand by and watch anymore. When I look at them I don't see the people I used to love. It wouldn't be right to let them back in.

So that's why I'm doing this.

I'll always miss Noah and Nathan and Megan and Ian and Mary and David. I will always love them no matter what. They are so precious and important to me. That will never change. But I can't be part of their lives anymore. So it's goodbye. I knew it that last time I went to babysit in January that it was goodbye.

So it's goodbye. God who always says that. No excuse me, "So this is goodbye." God knows I heard it enough.

Letting go of people is hard. But it's a part of life.

But for now I'm embracing the people in my life. For now, life is good. I'm happy. You can't change the past but I'm ready to declare independence from it. I'm ready.