Left Alone

You know it's funny...teenagers are always asking for more freedom but when we actually get left on our own we sometimes don't know what to do. It feels just slightly overwelming.

For example, in October of last school year there was a 'fish placement' green team event. Attendence and participation would get us 30 extra credit points. By 'fish placement' we were literally throwing dead fish into the Clackamas River...why I don't know but the science teacher told us we were doing a good thing. Personally, eyeing the blood dripping, foul smelling, heavy dead fish, I wasn't so sure but the extra credit points called my name.

So my dad drives me and Lauren down to the area. We drive for about 10 miles through a boring, straight road surrounded by farm land. Pick up time: 11:00.

We do the gruesome deed not noticing my biology teacher hadn't actually bothered to show up. But the envirmental people seemed to know what they were doing and offered any direction we might have needed. With some many of us helping out it didn't take as long as we thought and we finished up at 10:00. Checking our cell phones we find we have no reception.
Waiting an hour didn't seem to ideal but we knew we had a ride coming. The sole remaining adults asked if we had a ride. We said yes, so she left.

Sitting under a cover, hiding from the rain it dawns on me that I've actually been abdoned by all adults to wait an hour in the rain ,in a strange park, in the middle of no where, with no cell phone reception at the age of fifteen. I wasn't sure if it was a feeling of triump or terror.

Lauren and I ended up walking in the direction of home. We just walk along the road and probably made it about a mile before my dad finally picked us up. At one point I achieved cell phone reception and called him to let him know we were out early and would meet him on the road.

It wasn't the longest time we were alone but it felt really strange. I'm not sure if the biology teacher ever found out. I know my Chem teacher (who is his wife) would never do that and actually goes with us on fieldtrips but I don't know. I think his problem is he wants to be a college professer, not a high school teacher. It was my thoughts that his hour and half lectures on enzemes to fifteen year olds were maybe efforts in vain.

But the event that sparked this memory actually happened to day in choir. Now Mr. D places a lot of trust and responsibility in the hands of his students. He tells us (in girl's choir) that we are intelligent young women and is pretty harsh if we do npot behave accordingly. He's a pretty fun teacher but he has high expectations. He also has the tendency to literally leave his 'varisty' level choirs to their own devices. That means we conduct ourselves. Oh yeah. The teacher will dissappear and the students teach themselves.

Lately, I know he's been really busy. A-Choir went to Washington D.C. over Memorial Day Weekend and that took a ton of planning and energy. But today was the day of the concert.

We walk in, no teacher. We start warm ups but thirty minutes into class, no teacher. The concert was tonight and the conductor is not present. I was not happy.

Our accompnist arrived but the piano was not in the choir room; it was on the stage where the drama class was practicing. So no teacher, no piano and no stage. The concert was tonight.

Finally someone goes to the office and he gets his butt to class. e said he was in a forty minute meeting with the principle and apologized but we had to get down to business so we could run through all our songs.

It's not that I'm opposed to not having adults around, I quite like it actually. It just frustrates me when I am left on my own when I'm in a situation where I'm depending on them.


But despite everything, we survived the biology trip and the concert went well.

For the present, my life is still depressing though. I spent first peroid cutting out people from magazines and then I completely trashed a model in photoshop. It was a good way to vent I believe. There's nothing like giving someone a black eye in photoshop. =)