If

As I lay at the bottom of the tub
Shower of water dripping down my back
I stare at the floating locks of hair
and wonder these things
If I left would you miss me
If I died would you care
or am I just a burden to you
a blotch in your perfection
a smear in your life
If i am i would go and leave you alone
I never wanted to cause you heart ache and pain
If all I am is selfish and vain there is no need to stay

The roses are red and the baby buds a golden yellow
What is beauty if not cherished
They say love never ends and I used to believe
but now I know, now I know, now I know
I was wrong
The people you think would love you forever
die
and new people take their place
different
the same but not at all
The person you knew and loved is gone
replaced by some ghost to haunt you
I can only wonder where you left
why you had to go
somewhere in the back of my mind
I know this to be true
that where you have gone
I want to go too

The rain drops pour and wash away life
the sunlight cries
pools of blood
I see all the beauty streaked with pain
Today I am haunted
by the ghosts of what you were
Knowing i'll never forget keeps them near
they say it was my fault
but I must refuse the responisbility
knowing i couldn't live with myself it were
I am to heal, to comfort
to protect not to destroy
yet lying in this tub of water
with water running down my face
I feel i have failed you
or even worse
myself