Fafsa, First Stop When Looking for Money For School

It is 2014 and if you haven't already it is time to file your Fafsa! Back in the days of high school, I remember being told that we should file the mighty Fafsa on January 1st. I don't always listen to good advice though and usually file later in the year. This year I filed early though! I am on a mission that I am calling "debt free college degree." The United States has a huge student loan debt problem, and a lot of my peers are being forced to start making student loan payments on meager salaries. So I am going to find all the free money for college that I can. First step to free money is the Fafsa.

Fafsa is short for Free Application For Student Aid. You can pay to have a 3rd party fill the application out for you, but it does not cost anything to file. The website is located at: https://fafsa.ed.gov.

I haven't filed my taxes yet, but there is an option to file your Fafsa beforehand, and then come back and fill in the missing information after you file your taxes. You can use information from the year before or you can estimate what you think it will be. This year will be the first time I take advantage of this.

College Board has some more tips on How to Complete the FAFSA.

In addition to any Pell grants, subsidized and unsubsidized student loans I might be eligible from the federal government, my state has a grant that I am automatically entered for when I fill out the Fafsa that is worth $2000 dollars. It is first come first serve. I don't know if I will qualify for it or not, but in case I do I want to make sure I apply before the grants run out. Other states do have more requirements, for example in California you have to submit a verified GPA to get a CAL Grant, so any students interested need to do their homework ahead of time and make sure they get started early enough.

You Know, It's Not To Late To Begin Anew

It's tragic. I stopped reading novels. I stopped writing. I stopped dancing. I stopped singing.

I stopped feeling. Instead I went to class and work. At home I spent time with my family, my daughter, studied for exams and prepared for group meetings. Stress, worry, sleep deprivation and anxiety seemed to fill my days.

A nasty virus and the end of my class changed my routine. With little energy to spare I pulled a novel off my bookshelf, Russian Winter. I've owned it for two years, and I've never opened it. Now after all this time and in two days I devoured it.

If I could write a good book review I would write the best. I fear that my attempt at a review might cause this novel to be presumed to be less then the magnificent work of art that it is. Thankfully, others have already written reviews. I will say this much. I feel again, and I'm so excited.

You may read a review here.

The Wrong Way

On vacation in the Northwest I decided to go for a walk today. I thought it would be nice to take Frogger to the historic downtown area just 2 and a half miles down the street. There are many old shops and landmarks there to see. My old ballet studio is located up one of the hills. I've driven the roads dozens of times but only a few times to actually take in the sights and feelings. As a plus, we were instructed to take a smaller road that ran parallel to the busy street that takes you to downtown. I loaded up the stroller and took off in high spirits.

Up the hill we walked on J street, searching for the small road. The further I climbed the more labored my breathing became. The back of my legs ached. It was such a large hill that it took all my willpower to keep climbing. Desperately I searched for my intended road, but it was no where in sight.At the top I made a few phone calls. I discovered to my utmost horror that I had in fact gone the wrong way.

Refusing to admit defeat I could not force myself to turn around. J street dead ended into W so I took off on W in the direction of downtown even though I did not know how to find it. W street was kinder than J had been. Instead of steep hills it was almost flat. I was able to catch my breath and calm my temper. Soon I noticed bus route signs along the street. I recognized the number and realized the signs led to the major bus stop downtown. For awhile I followed the bus signs until I recognized we were near a popular swimming and fishing spot along the river.

The water was too cold, the banks to high and the current too strong for safe swimming this early in the year, but I thought Frogger might enjoy the view of the water. We crossed the familiar bridge. On the other side I found a bike trail with a sign dictating that we were within 2 miles of downtown. The bike trail was shady from the tall trees and I relaxed. We had been walking for a long time but I no longer felt rushed. I had to admit the walk hadn't turned out as bad as I had thought when lost on J street. Maybe what really counted was finding this beautiful spot. Frogger walked along the trail to stretch her legs. It was nice.

I wonder if in life, it always works out like our ill fated trip. You have a plan, but somehow you take a wrong turn. The hill is steep and it takes everything you have to keep going. Then it evens out and after a little longer you find something better then you expected. If you had given up, you'd have found it. Maybe I'm being overly philosophical about it but I know one thing. I'm glad I went the wrong way. <3

Guide to Surviving College With A Baby

After a semester of balancing baby and school work, I feel like an expert on this topic. It was pretty intimidating when I first started, but once I was settled and learned the routine, it really wasn't that bad. It may not be the same as back in the pre-baby days, but it definitely works. How do you do it? It is pretty simple really.

 Step 1

Find a Sitter You Love and Feel Comfortable With

Figuring out who should be responsible for the little bundle of joy is not as simple as picking out what to eat for breakfast. There are many things to take in to consideration. Whether you do decide to leave the baby with a trusted family member, a nanny or a reputable daycare, make sure it’s a good fit before classes start. The middle of English Composition class is not the ideal moment for wondering how many times your little one has been fed and changed in the last few hours.
It's very important that you are able to clearly focus and participate in class. A little separation anxiety-from both you and baby- is normal and to be expected, but both of you should be happy and comfortable with your sitter. Trust is fundamental so don’t be afraid to explore all your options.

Step 2

Get Organized

Before bedtime, the night before is the best time to begin collecting and organizing everything you and your baby will need in the morning. Waiting until the last minute can start the day off feeling rushed and stressed. It's not possible to predict and plan ahead for everything the morning might throw your way, but you can minimize on stress by preparing as much as possible. Find all your textbooks and notebooks, pick out clothes the night before, restock the diaper bag, pack lunch and snacks and prepare bottles.

Step 3

Prepare for Class

Pre-read the chapter before class and if the teacher uploads the power-points online, print out ahead of time. If you already have some idea of what the teacher is going to go over in class, you will be more focused and have a step up on everyone else in class. It's not necessary for you to master the material before class but do try to have a general idea of what is going to be taught.

Step 4

Pay Attention and Take Really Good Notes In Class

The more you learn in class, the less studying you will have to do at home. There will be days when despite best intentions, you will not be able to study. There will be nights when sleep is a wishful thought and mornings that drag. For those days when dragging yourself to class is all that can be accomplished, you will be grateful for not feeling lost and understanding the lesson.
If you don’t have good note taking skills, now is the time to learn and perfect. Tip, make sure to write down anything the teacher repeats multiple times and everything they write on the board. After a while you should get used to the individual teacher's style and know what to expect in terms of material on the tests and quizzes. Some teachers are very lecture oriented, others stick to the textbook. You’ll have to find out your teacher’s style.

Step 5

Maximize Study Time

The best way to study, along with how long, varies from person to person. It depends greatly on your own learning style. I advise you to take full advantage of any services offered by your college such as tutoring, quiet area in library to study, media center and study groups. When you find something that works for you, stick with it.
I discovered that I could not study at home. The baby was always doing one of the following: 
being irresistibly cute, getting into trouble or needing something. However, I quickly learned that I could accomplish quite a bit in a short time. Having 6 hours of uninterrupted study time is a luxury few parents have. However after awhile, you’ll also be amazed at the amount of studying you can get done in 1 hour, especially if you’ve taken good notes. Speaking of, make sure to review your notes as well as read your textbook.

Step 6

Do Not and I Repeat Do Not Procrastinate

Tip, if your teacher allows you turn assignments in early, do it. Most likely you will have to work on longer assignments, such as essays, in multiple chunks. Do not wait until the night before it is due. 

Step 7

Get To Know Your Teacher and Let Them Know You Are a Parent

The purpose is not to get special treatment. Teachers are usually very willing to work with good students and they appreciate honesty. If you consistently are on time for class and generally do well on the assignments, and end up coming in to class one day very late because of a sick baby, the teacher will most likely be understanding after you've explained. 

Step 8

Don’t Forget To Have A Good Time

College is stressful for everyone. It’s not meant to be easy, but that doesn’t mean it should be misery. Get to know your classmates and have a good time. School can be a lot of fun if you let it be.

Another Semester Finished, Soon To Be Filed Away

Another semester has come to a close. I'm pretty impressed with myself to have completed my classes while taking care of Frogger. It's no easy task. I was disappointed last fall when I was not able to continue with the 2 online classes. I'm very happy to have been able to finish all of this semester. College wasn't meant to be easy, not even living on campus in a dorm within walking distance of the library. College between diaper changes, breastfeeding, nap time and mornings that began with being thrown up on, that is a whole different story.

Congratulations to all the other student parents that are out there. We did good.

 I think I have finally found my major! After all this time I've realized that accounting might be my calling. I do enjoy sociology, my current major, but I don't want to be a social worker. Having a new direction keeps me at a community college for a little while longer. I have earned 60 units now, but I'd rather take the basic accounting and business classes for a fraction of the cost, even if it means sacrificing a few credits/units that won't transfer.

Short But Sweet

My fairytale may not have lasted, but for the duration of it, it was simply wonderful. It was summer- don't most stories begin this way? We shared our first kiss on a chilly beach so early in the morning the sun had yet to come up. It was perfect.

He taught me to drive a stick shift in his brand new car. I was terrified, but he had perfect confidence in me. We jogged through the woods, swam in the river and cuddled near the TV. When my wisdom teeth came out, he was there to drive me home from the dentist's office and to lie with me on the couch. He brought me movies, gifts and snacks, fed me applesauce when I was too drugged up to find my face. When I was vulnerable and needed him, he was there.

Each day we spent together was a day closer to the inevitable day when I was being forced to walk away from my lazy, happy days to join my family for four months in California. It was only 1000 miles away, but to a young couple happily in love, it was much much further. We realized that we were truly meant to be together and that would someday marry and have children.

When I loaded up my car and left, I couldn't see the road because my face was so covered in tears. When I stopped for the night, I cried for a half hour in a parking lot, not sure how I could go on. I dreamed about him at night and thought about him all day. I couldn't wait for the 4 months to be over with so I could run back to him, never to leave him again.

Our first blow came with the loss of his job. A week later, the pregnancy test was positive. Our journey together had only just begun.

It's Not So Easy

I often wonder why life isn't easy. If it's not one thing, it's another. That's the way it always goes. I'm still in California. I was supposed to leave a long time ago.

I'm not going to school full time this season. I'm taking pre-calculus and sociology which ends up at being just a little over half time. My classes are on my laptop and I work on my schoolwork after the baby falls asleep at night. She doesn't allow me to do anything constructive during the day. Anything other than love her to death and layer her in kisses, all while swinging back and forth, and back and forth on the patio swing.

It's not an easy adjustment from being an active teen to a mother. The impulsive lifestyle doesn't work with nap times and feedings and that's not a good environment for a baby anyhow. I handle it well mostly, but I do suffer from loneliness. Almost all of my friends live 1000 miles away. Even when my parents try to coax me out of the house, I feel as if I have no one to share the nightlife with. Honestly just a buddy to go to the park with in the daytime would be nice.

It's also hard taking care of the baby, minus the dad. I've seen him a total of 5 weeks in the last 6 months. I could leave here and join him, but like I said, life just isn't that easy. There's a million and three reasons why I can't do that. He doesn't understand though. We've literally spent half of our nearly year and a half long relationship a part. That's not exactly easy. Those relationships rarely end well.

But that is life. I love my baby, I enjoy taking care of her. I just wish I had more companionship and a different set of circumstances. Hopefully I will ace my 2 classes this term.

It's Not Like I Expected It Would Be

My baby is a small person, but it is incredible how much she has grown since the day she was born. For fun I swaddled her in one of her newborn blankets the other night. Some babies love to be swaddled but Frogger did not. I was never very good at it anyways so I was happy to let that go. Now the blanket is too tiny to keep her swaddled. In the last 9 weeks she had grown 3 inches and gained 5 pounds.

Being a mother is different then I would have imagined, even after growing up surrounded by children. I never pictured myself breastfeeding in a J.C. Penny dressing room or relaying projectile diaper-time stories. When I was little I remember dreading doctor visits that ended in shots, but little did I know that I would dread Frogger's appointments for the same reason.

What I did suspect was that I would be more of a modern parent, unlike my own mom. However once the mother instincts finally kicked in about 6 hours after Frogger was born, I realized I was going to be just like my own protective mother. Frogger's dad thinks I spoil her with attention. I don't worry about her becoming overly clingy, after all my parents 'spoiled' me as a baby and I've spent the last several years trying to gain independence from them. I think perhaps it is in the parents who become over attached to the children, not the other way around.

Everyone is shocked when I tell them that she sleeps through the night and has since she was 4 weeks old. Every night baby and I snuggle up together in my bed and sleep for 8 to 10 hours.Sometime in the morning she will let me know she is hungry, and we'll both fall back asleep as she is eating. It's so lazy and lovely. I don't even have a crib. The bassinet was a waste of money-she was never going to sleep in it. My little singer has the ability to cry and cry without ceasing and has been doing so since she was born. But this way works for us. No bottles, no crib, no crying, no hassle.

Wow is my life different now.

Welcome Summer

I'm laying on my bed, with my sweaty baby plopped on my chest. I was attempting to sort through her clothes, taking out all the newborn outfits that she is too long to wear, and replacing them with the next sizes up, but she doesn't care to sleep alone. It's very warm in our bedroom as always, but it's extra sunny today. I didn't check the temperature.

Yesterday we spent the day by the pool. Two more weeks before the doctor says I'm allowed to jump into the water, but we dipped our feet in and were splashed 7 dozens time, every time someone forgot I was holding baby. She whimpered when I dipped her feet in the pool water. She didn't cry when later I dipped her feet in the hot tub.

It's summertime so my books are put away. I'm wondering what old and new places I can visit this season.

Life is good.

I'm Positive For Once

3 more weeks until Frogger's due date. The doctor is predicting that she will be born early, but I definitely do not want to go past my due date. I have NSTs, non stress tests, twice a week at the hospital.

MHCC teachers have decided they will strike and gave the date of May 12, BUT it sounds like they are actually making progress in mediation for the first time. Keep your fingers crossed for me. The administration keeps saying they will hire temporary teachers for us, but you never know how that will play out.

The weather is hot, but things are looking up. I'm happy and can't wait to see him again. It's been a long month without him.

The Loss Of Great Literature

It really bothers me, but I try not to complain too much. People get defensive of the books that they like but really, we've lost something in this great world. The quality of what breathes life into the colorless, misshapen dullness has been buried beneath the guise of ease and convenience. Progress and technology are made to sound as if they are the sole accomplishments of the world. We are so much better off without having to work, so they say. Even the basic pencil and paper are old, ancient and must be improved upon. Entertainment is fast and explosive, quick to the point and must meet a certain standard for visual quality. Otherwise it's dismissed by critics and the masses alike. We've capitalized on a market of sparkly vampires, sacrificing art for money.

Readers today have no time for hidden meaning. The basic themes of love and betrayal are packaged so lightly that no second glance is required. A quick read through is designed for the hungry reader who adores the pages of simple words strung together into flowing sentences, getting through the material as quickly as possible. As we complain about the falling test scores in America's youth, we continue to lower the standards of age appropriate literature. An entire genre is written for the unintelligent fool to appreciate, and they do in massive numbers. Once again, quality forsaken for quantity.

Have the days of Shakespeare and Charles Dickens passed away so long ago that perhaps not a single books on the new arrivals shelf might be decent? To be a successful writer you must lose your soul in your stories, in your characters. It's beyond a description of your awkward high school girl in love with a forbidden high school boy who happens to be attractive and drive a nice car. Whoever decided these shallow characters would become the starting point of every new novel should be taken out and shot. How many candy coated prom centered books is enough? Since when did a cheerleader become synonymous with God, or the term nerd become an acceptable description? At what point will America desire characters with substance?

Besides writers, it seems on English teachers have any insight on this problem. They try to force students to read classics, but very few teachers succeed in ever inspiring a sullen teenager to feel hungry for literature, real literature. Literature should make you cry and not because a character was cheated on by their beloved or has a mother dying of breast cancer. It's not the outer conflicts that should move you-though if you are fully immersed in the book they would-but the inner struggles that are filled with emotion for the reader to experience. No, the quest to become confident enough to be elected homecoming queen does not count as an inner struggle.

Not All That Excited

I just turned in my first essay of the school year. Classes are going alright, though online distance learning isn't exactly what I'd call exciting.

I try not to go outside very often. Usually it's hot but sometimes it cools down. It did rain today but I've been sick lately so I didn't spend any time enjoying it. My life involves going out to fast food places with my family, church on the weekends and a trip to Walmart every two weeks or so. I wouldn't say there is anything exciting about my life. Normally I am always busy so this slow paced nothing-ness drives me crazy. I'm leaving for Oregon soon, but I have more to dread then be excited about.

I did go to Disneyland last week. That was a fun day. I got a new Eeyore mug to add to my small collection.

The End of the Fair

The LA County fair is over! It's a sad feeling and a relief both at the same time. I don't think I want to go back to another fair again for a long time

Other than getting all my assignments tomorrow and possibly going to the doctor for a blood test I get to relax for the next couple of days. I've been feeling rather puny lately and had lots of fun times throwing up, not, so I'm pretty happy to have some relaxing coming up.

More Repetitve Life.

I'm discovering that with online classes there is a very high level of expectation. With actual classes there really isn't a way for professors to make students go to class, other than to assign a lot of homework and quizzes that students can't make up. With online classes this isn't the case. If you don't log on and participate in the discussion forums, you fail the class. It's very simple. However the classes I'm taking this term are a little different in the fact that they have enormously structure requirements for the discussions that require a lot of work. It's slightly intimidating.

I got sent home from work two days this last week. The first day was Thursday. I arrived and the fair was dead. When my boss came out later and asked if anyone would volunteer to go home, I did. I'd had a little bit of a rough morning dealing with health insurance and no one else wanted to go. The other time I got sent home was yesterday. It was so hot (105 degrees) that after only 45 minutes of being there, my cheeks were flushed, I was sweating and showing signs of heat sickness. I'm not sure why I'm prone to it, but it seems that I am.

Other then school and work, I'm really not doing much at all. I miss Oregon so much. I can't wait to get back there.

Fall Term Online

After another week of working, two days off is nice. I'm adjusting to a 35 hour work week, but at the end of the day I do feel rather tired and grumpy. I blame it on the fact that I have to keep smiling all day, even at incredibly rude people. I find ways to have fun though and even though the pay seems meager, the only thing I'd change is being able to sell more food and not getting heat sick every day the temperature is over 90 degrees.

Classes started today. I'm still going to Mt Hood even though I can't physically go to class. I'm taking 5 classes this term, all online. My schedule is as follows:

General Sociology
American History
Computer Concepts
Computer Concepts Laboratory
College Writing

I'm excited about sociology. I'm going to be applying for the Mental Health/Human Services major in January as the first step on the road to becoming a social worker. It's another two years at a community college but the chance to start making connections, participate in internships and graduate with a degree that enables me to work at jobs that average around 10 to 14 dollars an hour is too tempting to refuse. According to the program brochere I'll be prepared to work in mental health, addiction treatment, community corrections, youth work, gerontology and other settings.

It's not exactly what I want my career to be, but best thing is if I complete the degree it transfers directly into Portland State's Child and Family studies departments. Meaning if I get into the Mental Health/Human Services program, it's likely that I'll get into the Child and Family Studies Program which gives me a much better chance at being accepted into the Social Work program at Portland State. And that's what I want.