Moving Again Soon

In a couple of days I leave. I have many mixed feelings about the move. Having a job to start soon after I arrive is exciting. Being able to start classes again later in the month is too, though because they are online, it really won't be the same. I'll have the chance to see my family and my California friends, but it means saying goodbye to my Oregon friends, the children I babysit, my boyfriend and everyone else. All I have to look forward to is massive heat. The rain won't come for many, many weeks. When it does come it won't be a blessing; it'll flood, causing mudslides and accidents.

But what choice do I have? I know few people who have are torn between two states for one reason or another. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go from here. Only ignorance can claim I'll be able to pack my bags after Christmas and leave without a second thought. I don't have a home and haven't had one since the house sold. A new family has it now, redecorating and repainting it. Did they put screens on the windows I used to crawl out of in the middle of the night? Do they stock the cupboards with groceries we ignored?

Truth

If I ever met myself, I'd fucking hate me.

A Month of Trimet VS Driving

As I forced myself to eat yet another bowl of soup so that I could take yet another pill, I read through the magazine Time, ignoring all the boring articles. One opinion column spiked my interest: fix the problems with the Middle East countries by making the countries less important. However at this moment in time they are quite important because we like our oil. The journalist explained that we ought to increase gasoline taxes to majorly discourage oil usage, hence making the Middle East feel smaller and less significant.

It's an interesting concept, but it got me to thinking about when I was riding public transportation instead of driving. I actually did the math to figure out what I saved by riding to school 5 days a week.

Approx 530 miles I didn't drive.

Approx 24 gallons of gas I didn't use.

To me that seems like a lot. I only rode Trimet for a little more than a month. This does not include the numerous bus rides to babysitting, the store and to friends houses.

You know what I think? I drive too much. And honestly? I don't really care for driving anyways.

Happines Rant

Warning, this is going to be a rant.

I've decided what is wrong with the world: people refuse to let other people just be happy. I was thinking this morning about how happy I am with my life. It's not perfect but I do lots of fun things on a regular basis and spend time with some great people. Yet if the world had its way, I would not be happy. I'd be living my life the way everyone else told me to do it.

Why are people so goddamn opinionated? The reason I've been thinking about this is because I have to make a decision soon about where I'm going to live. Luckily I have a few months to figure it out because I haven't much of an idea what to do. Sadly enough the reason is that I'm too easily persuaded by the opinions of my family, friends and strangers. If we lived in a world where people encouraged others to do the right thing for them, to make themselves happy, then it would be simple. But no. Today if you think about yourself, your own happiness that makes you a selfish bitch.

I agree you shouldn't become absorbed in yourself. If all we can think about is me me me, we are selfish. But when it's time to make a life altering decision, you sure as hell should be thinking about you.

Think about prop 8. The whole issue is that these big religious groups have decided that because they have an issue with guy on guy and girl on girl, people who love each other shouldn't be allowed to marry. If such a thing were to pass, children would be hurt, lives destroyed. The whole argument is made up by self righteous people who stand up in white robes, afraid of their own sexuality. If that's how they want to feel, fine, but why do they get to decide for the rest of the world who gets to be happy and who doesn't?

I'm just tired of being held down by judgmental people who pretend to be on my side.

Recovering from Wisdom Teeth Surgery

Why does everyone have a horror story connected with the removal of their wisdom teeth? Before undergoing the procedure I had to instruct everyone to not tell any horror stories. I have spent enough time at the doctor's office and had my blood drawn more times then I can count, however, the dentist has always irrationally scared me.

Thankfully the procedure went well with no complications. My biggest fear was the IV. The dentist (ortho surgeon?) did a great job. I honestly barely felt it. They woke me up suddenly when it was over, pulled me out to the car in my drugged state of being and left me in the capable hands of my bestfriend and boyfriend. I'm told I repeatedly asked the same questions in the car all the way home: "Did you call my parents yet?", "Is there gauze in my mouth?", and "Am I going to be okay?". or something like that. My memory is a little sketchy.

My first memories at home are when Bre set up a bed for me on the couch and G helped remove and replace the blood soaked gauze in my mouth. Then he helped me eat some berry flavored applesauce so that I could begin taking the medication. My cheeks and lip were so swollen there was no gap between my chin and my lower lip. Later I took a piece of ice and held it to my lip. I couldn't feel it. Finally the swelling did go down though my cheeks have remained a little swollen and red, and an ice pack is never too far away.

My concept of time was nonexistent and poor G didn't get to escape to eat lunch until 3 or 4. By then I had discovered that the pain medication didn't really work for me. It didn't change my perception of anything.

5 hours later I stopped biting down on gauze and tea bags (black tea bags are supposed to have clotting agents in them). Church friends brought over several cans of soup and popsicles and a delivery man brought flowers sent from the dentist office. I forced myself to eat bits of food that G brought and we watched Disney movies the rest of the night.

The next morning was when the nausea first kicked in. Taking 4 different kinds of medication and not keeping your stomach lined with food can do that to you. I sat through Julie and Julia, The Runaways, When In Rome, Paper Heart and Madagascar 2. G brought me soy yogurt and a zebra stuffed animal after he got off work, slept on the couch with me, forced me to eat when I was not hungry and finally took me off to a friend's house late that night to get me out of the house.

Sunday morning I woke up in a lot of pain but was very pleased that I had actually managed to sleep for a full 8 hours for the first time in a week. We went to church while I was loopy, but it was interesting still. After church I was demanding real food so we went to Noodles. I spent most of the day out, sitting down.

I am more the ready to be finished being in pain. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have resumed a normal amount of energy for myself and be able to drive again. My post op appointment is on Thursday.

Weekend

This weekend I had a possible job offer, chowed down at Applebee's, helped him unpack his room, laughed the entire way through Despicable Me, rode the Max, didn't go to the beach, bought book bags and a bumper sticker from Powell's and purposely numbed my lips with Oragel.

I highly recommend the movie Despicable Me. I have not laughed that much while watching a movie in a long time. At first I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy the movie since I'd never even since a commercial for it, but I'm really glad we saw it.

On the clearance rack at Hot Topic I found the cutest bikini. It's gray with pink checkered hearts on it. I can't wait to wear it to the river. Do you remember how I've been excitedly waiting to start swimming in the river since swim class spring term? Well I have not been back to the river in over a month and I'm really disappointed. The water has fallen and the temperature has gone up several degrees. On my next day off you can guess where to find me. Speaking of, if I do get the job I'll be hitting the I-5 south two weeks early (I'm just dying to hit the 50,000 mile mark on my car-not). Hopefully I will be healed from my surgery by then. If all goes well at my consult on Tuesday, I'll be sedated and cut open on Friday. Never in my life have I been this excited to go to the dentist. Can you tell I'm in pain?

Good Phone Call

Unexpectedly, I received a phone call from my truck driver friend's insurance company asking if they could close up my case, pay the medical bill that never got taken care of and pay me 500 dollars for inconvenience. Not a bad morning.

It seems though that everyone has an opinion on whether 500 dollars cuts it or not. Half the people I've spoken to says its great, the other half says that on no accounts is it enough. Personally I've been fine up to this point without the money, so any money they give me is a bonus. Right?

I started taking pain medication for my wisdom tooth today. So far I'd made it on just popsicles and toughing it out. I think it is time for this tooth to come out.

Go Away Wisdom Tooth

I have something in common with a two year old: I'm teething again. stupid wisdom teeth.

For the past two or three years the gums around my wisdom teeth have on occasion became sore as my teeth peaked through the gum. Soon afterward, however, the teeth retreated back to their hiding place and I went about my merry way. That was, until now.

Now I have one very stubborn wisdom tooth (bottom right) that is determined to escape my gum. I've been in a little pain since I got back from California, and every day it slowly increases intensity. Since neither I nor my family actually have dental insurance, I'm not looking forward to solving this problem.