I Have a New Cell Phone. Cross Your Fingers I Don't Break It.

Rule Number 57

Don't even try to screw with me over text message. I know.

I mess with girls and guys. I use their words and text the right length. I can convince you I am your friend. Or a different version of me. Or my favorite character, Lindsay. No guy can resist Lindsay. We've proven that.

So when people do try to mess with me, I catch on quickly. Next step is to figure out their motive. What do they want? Information? Do they like me?

It's always something. People can be so dumb sometimes.