Who wishes Saturday away?

Today is a really low key Saturday for me. I don't have to work or do any major homework. My mom wanted me to work though. The church is having its 'Decking of the Halls" today and the prospect of waking up at 7 so I could go was not appealing. Plus Lauren spent the night and she didn't leave till noon so I wouldn't have been able to go anyways. But apperently my mom really 'needed' me, so says my dad. She got really pissed off at me for 'being rude' and now I'm grounded. Fun huh?

My dad went into this long story about how stressed out she is and blah blah. I'm supposed to be thinking about how to make amends? No I don't think so. Call it 13ish but I'm not sorry she's stressed out. I know for a fact I'm more stressed out and over committed than she is so it's not even fair that I would be expected to spend the day at church. I hate that place so why would I want to spend more time there?

Johnnie Beth has been committing my ass to the church constantly. I got sucked into doing the youth song in the musical we're doing. I'm like dude I'm already in the thing why do I need to do one more song? Ken was yelling at me saying I had to because I'm apart of the youth group even if I pretend I'm not. Well wake up call Ken, I'm not. And then he's like you need to start thinking about what you're going to do for Youth Sunday.

Okay people what do you want? Pick one thing because I have my limits. I'm freaking choregraphing and performing the stupid youth song. I'm probably going to be a speaker for youth sunday and I asked to design the power point.

lets see...what else am I doing for the church?

1. Pastor's Daughter: 24/7
I'm an image, an object to satisfy the whole, 'pastor with a large family' thing.
2. Children's Music Leader: 1 hr/wk
I choregraph songs and teach them to the kids each Sunday morning.
3. Church Libraian
I am orgnaizing and bringing the library back to life. At least I would be if I had the time.
4. Choir Member: 2hr/wk
on/off I sing on the choir
5. Sunday School Teachers Aide: 1hr/wk
I'm planning on quitting soon.
6. Nursery Helper
I'm in their helping Amy out way more than any other volunteer. That's a given. I'm a sub for everyone.
7. High School Website Designer

Now we add on youth group stuff. Then we consider school. Don't forget about ballet. And homework. And sleep.

That doesn't leave me with really anytime. I like to be busy but not with church stuff. Uggggg! If I get stuck at church all day on Sundays I deserve to have Saturday off.

Lets see my mother is a housewife, nursing mother, and a homeschool teacher. Yeah she has stuff at church, she plays bass, sings choir and is in charge of church life but that doesn't equal a need for me. I am more stressed out and busier than she is. Seriously. I'm not apologizes for that.

I want it to be Monday. That's a strange thought. Who wishes Saturday away? It snowed today but just for a little while and it didn't stick. I wish it did. I wish it buried the grass, dirt and roads. White stands for purity. I want the earth to be pure.

I have to make a decision. The outcome has the ability of really pissing Jake off. Funny thing is I'd really like to do that.

He said he'd stop talking shit about me yesterday but we'll see if that's true. Chris figured it was a lie but I'm going to take him on his word. However, if I hear from another person about something he said about me I'm going to make him just as miserble as he was making me. Afterall, it's only fair that I repay him for all the lies he told. And I don't even have to lie so my promise isn't in any danger.

The outcome of my decision also has the chance of making me really happy. What a thought! I haven't been happy in so long. It would be nice to be happy and whole again. I think perhaps I might favor the choice that will make me happy.