Stay Away Darkness

I enjoy good days.

I still worry sometimes...that the darkness will come back. Or that I'll mess up and do something stupid. Whether or not it comes back, one thing is for sure: the darkness changed me irrovakbly.

Pastor talked about forgivness today. Very typical but I realized something I had never considered before...I need to forgive Gravity. I'm angry at him.

I think the problem is that I blame myself...it was my fault, right? But no...it wasn't all my fault. He did a lot of that and it hurt...still hurts. Maybe if I could forgive him I wouldn't have some much aniexty. I'm so tired of being afraid I'll run into him. I just want to forget him and enjoy my life. Why is that so hard? It's the letting go, not of the memories but of the pain.

But that's another story. Today was very good. We saw Knowing which is kinda a scary movie though from the commericials I didn't know.