Oh the rain

It rained last night. A summer storm complete with thunder and lightning. The ground is wet, Dax won't venture of the porch and I'm wrapped in a blanket. I don't remember it raining last night. I hadn't thought I'd fallen asleep but I must have, off and on. I know I fell asleep about six, woke up at eight forty-five. Jake called me about ten after nine. It was nice to hear his voice. I had a really stupid dream when I was napping in the evening. Something happened to him and I sat there and cried. Not very mature I guess...crying over a dream. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him though.

Right now everything hurts. My feet hurt, my leg hurts from when I fell Sunday at the park, cramps plague my middle section and my shoulders and arms are a little sore. I started today so that explains the cramps. They've been getting so awful lately. Never have they been good but never this bad. Last month was the first time I think they were so strong and painful. I couldn't sleep most of the night because of it. And now I'm up and found out it rained.

I decided not to go to ballet class today. It would be starting up right about now. I feel bad for not going, I practiced for so long yesterday. I stretched while listening to Les Meserables and really pushed the height of my leg on passe developes. In my plies I went for depth; how low could I go? It's no wonder I'm sore today. After all that I went biking later that evening and pushed myself even more. When I got home I made myself eat chicken and potatoes, and happily ate several pieces of watermelon. I watched Grease with my mom after dinner.

After pushing myself yesterday I'm confined to my house. That's not really fair. I want to go show Jacquie that I'm a diligent student and make up for doing so poorly yesterday. But I can't. Is it no wonder I'm not happy?

Maybe it just hormones, maybe its just the rain. But that's not a reason to be so unhappy. Jake and I just passed our eleven month mark, I'm improving in ballet class, my parents and I are getting along, I'm not in trouble and I've been keeping my room clean. By all reasons I should be happy.

I probably should go eat. Everyone thinks I'm going anorexic... Maybe I feel happier later. I hope so.